A Grey Misunderstanding
by Grey girl 1989
Summary: PART 1-What happens when Christian thinks Ana has cheated on him? He does what Christian does best of course. He overreacts, doesn't listen and pushes everyone away. PART 2 Starts from Chapter 7 and the road to their happy ever after begins.
1. Chapter 1

_**HI EVERYONE**_

_**WELL HERE IS IT. MY LATEST STORY. I HAVE BEEN WRITING ALL OVER THE HOLIDAYS AND I HAVE ABOUT 30,000 WORDS ALREADY DONE SO I SHOULD BE ABLE TO UPDATE REGULARLY.**_

_**I WILL WARN YOU ALL. THIS STORY IS NOTHING LIKE MY OTHERS AND I KNOW ITS NOT GOING TO BE EVERY ONES CUP OF TEA.**_

_**THERE IS A LOT OF ANGST IN THIS STORY BUT JUST LIKE ALL MY OTHERS, IT IS A HEA AND THERE IS NO CHEATING**_

**_I APPRECIATE ALL FEEDBACK GOOD OR BAD SO I THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR THE REVIEWS_**

**_CHEERS_**

**_LORNA XOXO_**

* * *

><p><em><strong><span>PROLOGUE<span>  
><strong>_

I cant believe we're here. I never thought my marriage would end in divorce. Let alone because of the love of my life being unfaithful to me.

I walk into the conference room where we will meet to sign the divorce settlement and discuss custody arrangements.

If I could go for full custody I would but I know realistically that joint custody is what will happen.

When I walk thought the door I am hit with the electric jolt that was always there when we were in a room together.

I walk confidently into the room even though inside I am shaking. I sit down next to my lawyer and I don't even make eye contact with who is across the table from me. It hurts to look.

My lawyer hands me a stack of paperwork and I start to read what is basically, the end of our story.

My heart feels like its being ripped out of my chest when I flip to the first page and see the words **_"Divorce settlement of Christian Trevelyan-Grey & Anastasia Rose Grey"_**

This is it, we're really doing this...and I'm the one who demanded this.

From catching them to now has taken less than 7 weeks.

The worst 7 weeks of my life.

"Please...Please don't do this...We can work this out. We will go to marriage counselling or couples retreat, just please I'm begging you not to do this to me, to us, to our children"

I look up and my heart wants to do everything that was just said. My heart is telling me to fight for my marriage. To make it work.

But my head and my destroyed soul is telling me to end it. End it so my shattered heart can start to mend itself. Well, try and mend itself.

"You are the one who did this to us. You're the one who broke our marriage vows and its because of you that our children will grow up in a broken home. Tell me, was it worth it? You have lost me, our home, our children half the time and you have to live for the rest of your life knowing that you! the one person on this planet that I trusted with my whole heart FUCKING DESTROYED ME!"

"Christian, I didn't do anything I swear. I..."

"ENOUGH!" I slam my fist on the table making everyone jump.

"I am sick of hearing you try and worm your way out of it. I want a divorce, Anastasia. I want to put you and our marriage behind us and pretend it never fucking happened. My focus now is on Teddy and Phoebe. You're not my problem any more. Now lets sign the fucking papers and get it over with"

I turn my attention back to the papers and try to drown out the sound of my wife's hysterical sobs.

She is the reason our marriage is now over and she acts like she is the innocent party. I want this fucking over.

I know I am being cold towards her but I am trying to protect my heart.

Or what's left of it.

The blue eyes that used to bring me such joy now make my heart twist like a knife is going through it.

I sign the first paper and then push it across to her.

With one swipe of her pen, Anastasia Grey becomes Anastasia Steel once again.

If she signs it that is.

She looks down at the document and pen with her watery blue eyes and then looks up at me.

I see many things in her eyes. Hurt, anger, regret, defiance, love, confusion and most of all, stubbornness.

"I'm not signing that" she sits up straighter and keeps her eyes locked with mine.

I turn my head.

I hear her lawyer try to reason with her but she snaps and like I did only moments before she slams her hand on the desk making everyone but me jump.

"I AM NOT FUCKING SIGNING THAT!" she screams and then slumps back in her chair where her tears once again fall down her face.

"Mrs Grey, This agreement is beneficial for both you and Mr Grey. If you turn it to page three you will see that the monthly allowance that Mr Grey will be putting into your bank account is more than generous considering the...situation" William Hartfield my personal attorney tells her but Ana locks him with glare that almost makes him piss himself.

"The situation? There is no fucking situation! I didn't do anything! I have never broken my marriage vows and my ass of a husband won't stay in a room longer than two minutes with me so I can explain anything to him! I am not signing those papers. I am not giving up on my marriage because my husbands self loathing has taking over his brain and HE WONT FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!" She screams once more and I've had enough.

"William, how long will a contested divorce take?"

"It can take anywhere between six months to a year depending on the clients" He parrots off.

"Then start the ball rolling on it today" I tell him as I stand and button my jacket before turning to everyone in the room.

"Leave us" I indicate to myself and Ana the command in my voice makes everyone, including the snivelling little wheeze bag who is supposed to be my wife's legal council leave the room with out a word, leaving us alone for the first time in about two weeks.

The hope in her eyes is almost my undoing. I know she is thinking that I will start to say sometime that might get us back on track but the beast inside me is screaming for me to destroy her like she has destroyed me.

"If you won't sign it then I will fight you in court. Is that what you want Anastasia? For our, no let me rephrase that, Your, dirty laundry to be aired in the media? Do you really want our children to be bullied at school by the other children who taunt them about their mommy who couldn't keep her legs shut?" The hurt that comes across her face almost makes me crumble but being the dick that I am, I carry on and rip her to shreds. The room we are in has one way mirrored glass all around and is sound proofed so I know that we will not be seen or heard by anyone.

"Have you fucked him since he got out the hospital? Have you had him in our bed? Does he make you scream like I could?" I lean down and get right in her face so we are eye to eye.

"Have you let him fuck your ass? Or have you not whored that part of yourself out yet?"

Her hand raises and falls on my face with a resounding slap that echoes off the walls. I roughly grab her arm and pull her out the chair before I harshly push her against the wall making her yelp in shock. I grab both of her slender hands in both of mine and hold them above her head.

It's not lost on me that this is the position we were in when we had our first kiss.

"Don't you ever, Ever, hit me again Anastasia" I snarl and for the first time in our marriage, I see fear in her eyes.

"I...I've...it's only been you Christian...only ever you...why won't you believe me? You won't even listen to me"

"What's there to fucking listen too? I walked in to a hotel room to find you naked, _Him_ naked, clothes all over the floor and your face was flushed!. Imagine if the tables had been turned? imagine you finding me in a bed, naked with Leila next to me! Imagine your heart being ripped out of your chest and then thrown in a blender and you might, might get the idea" I scream.

I can't look at her any-more. Just the thought of what I walked in on is enough to make me want to vomit. I let go of her hands and then turn from her. I go to grab my cell phone off the table when I feel her small soft hand on my back in my once forbidden zone.

"Christian..." I turn with lightning speed and push her off of me and to my horror her heel catches on part of the carpet and she goes crashing to the floor. The shock on her face at what I have done makes me hate myself. I pushed her over. Ana. I hurt her.

The beast that I thought was well and truly locked away comes roaring to the surface and instead of helping her up and begging forgiveness which is what the hearts and flowers man trapped inside me is screaming at me to do, I do the opposite. I look at her with my impassive CEO face and leave her on the floor.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again" I snarl and then leave the room but not before I hear the sobs that start to rack her body.

The guilt that washes over me is enough to bring me to my knees but I manage to make my way down the elevator and across the garage to my car Before I completely lose it.

I scream and let the tears over take me.

Seven years of happily married bliss and now it's gone.

Seeing her small body on that floor sickened me and just makes me realise what I knew from the first moment she fell into my office.

I'm no good for her.


	2. Looking Back

**HI EVERYONE**

**90 REVIEWS, 99 FAVS AND 183 FOLLOWS...FROM ONE CHAPTER! IVE SAID IT BEFORE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.**

**I THOUGHT FOR SURE THAT I WOULD GET SOME REVIEWS THAT WERE NEGITIVE BECAUSE OF THE ANGST IN THE STORY BY ALL THE REVIWES WERE POSITIVE...WELL APART FROM THE GUEST WHO SAID I STOLE THE STORY LOL TO THAT PERSON I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR STANDING UP FOR ME EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDNT KNOW IT WAS ME YOU WERE DEFENDING (if that makes sense) **

**JUST ONE THING TO CLEAR UP. NO ANA WAS NOT RAPED.**

**THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND INBOX MESSAGES.**

**NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP ON MONDAY AROUND 5PM GMT**

**THIS CHAOTER FLASHES BACK TO THE NIGHT IT ALL WENT DOWN SO MAKE SURE YOU ALL KEEP TRACK OF WHAT IS A FLASH BACK AND WHAT IS PRESENT TIME**

**CHEERS**

**LORNA XOXO**

**CHRISTIANS POV**

I drive back to Escala slowly. What have I got to rush back for? My kids are at my mothers. My wife, soon to be ex, is on the floor of a conference room at Grey house crying and my staff, who are all firmly on my wife's side of this are all at the House on the Sound except Luke who I saw in the parking garage when I left.

How has it come to this? 7 and a half weeks ago my life was perfect. Better than perfect. I had a wife who I adored and who loved my with every fibre of her being and now I cant stand to look at her. I hate her! _No you don't Grey! You love her and you always will!_ I hate hate hate the voice in my head. Why doesn't he just fuck off!

_Because without me you're going to lose the best thing that ever happened to you!_

Whatever!

I pull into the underground garage of Escala and go up to the penthouse. While in the elevator I have to stop myself from thinking about all the times Ana and I have got down and dirty in here. The first time being when we were dating.

The doors open up to the penthouse and I shrug my jacket off and then head straight for my drinks cabinet. I pour myself a healthy dose of Scotch and then take a seat out on the balcony which over looks most of the city.

I don't know what I am going to do with my life without Ana by my side. I will never trust another woman like I did her. I don't even know how to move on. Do I go to a bar and try to pick up women? Or do I just get a sub and go back to my old ways? _What the fuck are you thinking? A sub? If you get another sub I will make damn sure you never get an erection again! WE LOVE ANA, DICKHEAD!_

Loved! past tense.

_That is a lie and you know it_

Again, Whatever!

If it wasn't for that stupid argument she would not have gotten so drunk. She would not have got drunk off her ass and she wouldn't of betrayed me.

If I could go back in time and just stop that argument, Ana and I would be fine. We were talking about trying for another baby. We were going to go back to Europe for a week without the kids. Just me and her, a hotel room in Paris and a bed. Perfect. And now she's probably fucking him. She's probably crying on his shoulder because I pushed her over and he's probably taking full advantage of her vulnerability.

The thought of her and him together sends me into a rage and for the millionth time since we split up I rip my hair. The pain centres me.

I think back to the night it all changed. If I had said something different. Done something different. She would not have fallen into his bed.

**FLASHBACK 7 WEEKS BEFORE**

I walk through the front door and immediately am overwhelmed by the smell of Gail's famous chicken pot pie. I hear heels clacking on the marble and my beautiful wife rounds the corner wearing a skimpy red dress and fuck me heels.

"Wow! you look gorgeous! What's the occasion?" I ask as she saunters over to me with an extra sway to her hips.

"First of all, where is my kiss?" she pouts and then flings her arms around my neck and kisses me deeply.

"That's what I call a welcome home"

"Your email banter today left me horny and when I come home I expect you to perform your marital duties to the very best of your ability" She purrs and then starts licking my neck.

"Where are you going?" The fact that she hasn't answered me yet is making me suspicions.

"Remember I told you a few weeks ago? Kate and I are meeting Jose at the Fairmont for drinks. He is only here for a couple of days because he has a show in Boston on Tuesday night"

Jose fucking Rodriguez! That little prick has been after my wife for years! And I am pretty sure that this is the first I am hearing of this!

"Why am I only finding out about this now?" I growl and step away from her. She rolls her eyes and huffs. _That's spank number 1!_

"Christian. I told you weeks ago!"

"I don't remember you telling me anything"

"That's probably because I told you right after I sucked the hell out of your dick and you were kinda out of it" She smiles but I don't find it funny.

Her continued friendship with him has caused us to argue more than once. He eye fucks her to death and hangs off her every word but she can't see it.

"This is not funny, Anastasia. I don't like you spending time with him. He wants to fuck you so bad he practically trips over his dick every time you see him. Why can't he get his own girl and stop trying to worm his way into my girls panties?"

"Christian! He is my friend! I've known him over ten years now"

"You're not going out, especially dressed like that" The second I say she can't go, I see the stubbornness set in her eyes.

"I am going. I promised Kate and Jose weeks ago. We are having a mini reunion and what's wrong with my dress?" She frowns and does a little turn.

"You look too sexy and too fuck-able but that point is moot because you're not going" I head towards the kitchen and she follows me.

I don't feel like an argument tonight. It's rare that we argue but when we do, they're explosive. They do normally end up with angry sex or make up sex but the journey there is horrible.

I walk into the kitchen and find Gail, Teddy and Phoebe at the breakfast bar.

"Hi Gail"

"Good evening, Sir. Dinner will be in twenty minutes"

"Sound perfect. Hey Champ, hey Princess" I lean down and kiss my two children but they are far more interested in the game they are both playing on the IPad.

I pour myself a glass of wine and then turn to see if Ana wants one but she has disappeared. I pour her one anyway and then go in search of her. She's not in her library or on the back deck which is where she normally goes to cool down if we have words.

I walk up to our room and find her in front of the mirror putting on a pair of earrings.

"I brought you a glass of wine" I hold up the glass and she takes it from me and downs it in one gulp.

"Thanks"

"I hate it when we fight, baby. I love you"

She sighs and puts the glass down and walks over and wraps her arms around me.

"Me too and I love you too Christian"

"How about you and I get the kids to bed early and then spend the night in the hot tub?" I whisper into her hair. I start to snuggle into her neck but she pulls back.

"Christian, I'm going out with Kate and Jose"

"No you are not. I don't trust him. He has lusted after you for years and now you think I'm going to let you go out to a hotel no less and get drunk with him?"

"Let me? I am twenty nine years old! I'm a married mother of two and if I want to go out with two of my best friends then I'm going" she puts her hands on her hips and glares at me.

"Why do you have to defy me at every turn? I am not comfortable with you going out with him so stay home" why is this so hard for her?

"Well, tough!"

"Well tough? That's your argument?"

"I shouldn't need an argument, Christain! You're being paranoid. Jose has only ever been a friend to me, nothing else"

"What about the time he tried to push his tongue down your throat while you were drunk?" She groans and then covers her face.

"I am sick of the same thing coming up every single time we argue about this. He was drunk, I was drunk, you stopped him, end of story. I would not have kissed him that night even if I was sober because I was mooning over you at the time"

"Oh so if I had not of been on the scene you would have kissed him?" The thought of his lips on hers sends me into a meltdown and I throw the wine glass in my hand against the wall behind me where it shatters In to a million pieces.

"Real fucking mature, Christain! Why do you have to be such a fucking Neanderthal?" She yells.

"Because that's how I'm fucking wired and I thought that's how you liked me but I guess your taste runs towards the Latino persuasion"

"You know what? I'm not dealing with you right now. I am going out. I'll be home later and you can sleep in the guest room tonight" she says while shrugging on her jacket.

"Like fuck I'm sleeping in the guest room. You're my wife, that is our marital bed and that's where I'm fucking sleeping tonight!"

"Then I'll sleep in the guest room because there is no way in hell I am letting you so much as lay one finger on me until you apologise"

"Me? Me apologise? You're my wife and you're going to a fucking hotel with another man!" My insecurities must show on my face because hers softens. She walks over to me and leans up and gently kisses the corner of my mouth.

"You're the only man I have ever loved. The only man I will ever love and you're the only man that has ever touched me or will ever touch me. I love you Christian and I trust you. You need to trust me too"

"I do trust you. It's him I don't trust"

"I will be fine. I'll text you when I get there, while I'm there and when I'm leaving...and maybe we could revisit the hot tub idea when I get home?" She walks her fingers down my tie while biting her lip.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to lay a finger on you tonight?" I smile and then my once virginal wife shocks me.

"Your fingers may be on the bench but you still have a dick and a tongue" she kisses me deeply and then blows me a kiss before leaving the room.

It takes me half a minute to realise that she is leaving in that dress. She can go but she is not wearing that dress around him. I open the bedroom door and catch her just before she reaches the top of the stairs. I scoop her up and carry her back to our bedroom and kick the door close.

"What are you doing? Put me down" she wriggles and I place her gently on our bed. I walk In to her closet and select a black dress that she does look sexy in but then again, she would look sexy In a paper bag. The dress I have chosen is one she wears to work sometimes. It's to the knee and not very low cut. I walk back In to our room and find her stood at the end of the bed with her arms crossed.

"I'll let you go but you're not wearing that fuck me dress. Put this one on"

"You'll let me go? But I have to wear a dress of your choosing? I know you have a few controlling tendencies but that is too far Christain! I'm not a teenager and you're not my father. I am wearing what I have on and I am going because I want to go, not because you're "letting me". God you make me so mad sometimes" she huffs and rolls her eyes. Again. _Spank number 2!_

"Yeah well back at ya! Now be a good girl and put this on" yeah I know I'm being a prick about it but she needs to just do what I say.

"Grow up Christain!" She walks toward the door again and I lose it.

"Do not fucking walk out that door Ana wearing that dress! I forbid you!" I scream.

"Fuck you, asshole!" She spits at me over her shoulder and then leaves the room. As soon as she is gone my temper reaches breaking point and I punch the wall next to the door and my fist goes through it.

By the time I have calmed myself down I hear the roar of her R8 engine and when I look out the window I see her car peeling down the driveway.

_That's spank three!_

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><p>I spend the next few hours playing with the kids. I help them get ready for bed and then read them both a bedtime story. It's stretching pass 11 o'clock and I haven't heard from Ana once. I know she is there because I tracked her phone to the Fairmont.<p>

I pour myself a glass of scotch and then go up to our bedroom. I go to the hidden wall safe and pull out a blindfold, spreader bar, lube and the Ben Wa balls. Her ass is mine tonight. In more ways than one. I pick up my cell phone and see that I have no text's or missed calls. I check the tracker and see that she is still at the Fairmont.

I hate the fact that she is with him but at least Kate is there. I get this nagging feeling in the back of my head and on a whim I track Kate's phone.

My heart almost stops when I see the little red dot is at Bellevue. _What the fuck!_

If she is at her place, why is Ana still at the Fairmont?

I start pacing the bedroom and dark thoughts take over my mind. I pace and worry for over an hour before I decide to go get her.

Her I trust. Him, not at all.

I grab my cell and call Gail and ask her to come and keep an eye on the kids. As soon as she walks in the door I rush by her and jump into my R8. I head towards the Fairmont at speed and when I get there I park the car and walk straight into the bar. My eyes scan the room but I don't see them. Panic starts to over take me and I head towards the restaurant thinking that maybe they are eating but there is no one in there.

_Please don't let her be in his room._

Twenty minutes and three grand later, I have the key to Jose "Fuck Head" Rodriguez's room.

My heart is pounding as I slowly open the door. The room is silent and for one brief second I feel relief in the fact that she is not in here with him.

Then I see one of her red fuck me heels on the floor.

Rage like I have never felt before over takes me and I walk around the corner of the room and what I see stops and then shatters my heart.

Both of them are naked and he is wrapped around her like a vine.

A sob racks my body and it wakes him. He opens his eyes and spots me and then he does something that tips me over the edge.

He smirks.

I launch my self at him and just start punching. We fall of the bed and I start smashing his head into the floor. Blood is pouring from him but I don't stop. I pick him up and literally throw him across the room where he lands on Ana and dislodges her from the bed so she falls on the floor. _How the fuck did she sleep through that?_

She focuses her eyes and then I watch as the horror of her undress comes across her face and then she sees a beaten and bloody Jose. My heavy breathing alerts her to another presence in the room. She snatches the sheet to cover her self but when she sees its me all the colour drains from her face.

"Christian..." she whispers in horror.

"DON'T! DON'T FUCKING SPEAK TO ME! GET UP AND GET FUCKING DRESSED NOW!" I snatch her dress off the floor and throw it at her. I am almost sick when I spot her panties and bra by the bed.

She stands up with tears in her eyes and walks to me.

"Christian, I swear nothing happened..I...Baby you have to believe me" She makes and grab for my hands and I lose it.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME YOU FUCKING BITCH! I TRUSTED YOU! HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? AND WITH HIM? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING HIM? WAS IT JUST THIS ONE TIME OR HAS IT BEEN GOING ON FOR LONGER?"

"I...we...didn't...I don't know how..." she looks dazed and confused while she takes in the room and then a naked Jose who I have beaten unconscious.

"DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME! JUST GET FUCKING DRESSED AND LETS GO. NO, ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU STAY HERE. I DON'T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR ME RIGHT NOW" I leave the room and my wife and run back to my car.

I drive home with tears streaming down my face. I have to pull over twice to be sick. When I get back to the house I am on autopilot. I grab a suitcase and start throwing her clothes in it. I walk out of the house and run to the end of the drive way where I throw her suitcase over the gate just as she pulls up and scrambles out of her R8.

"Christian...What are you doing?" she cries when she spots all her clothes.

"You are not allowed in this house. I don't want to see you, hear from you or even think about you. I don't give a fuck where you go as long as its not anywhere around me"

"Christian I haven't done anything I swear! I dont know what happened"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED! YOU FUCKED HIM! YOU FUCKED HIM AND YOU FUCKED AWAY OUR MARRIAGE, OUR HOME AND OUR LIFE TOGETHER. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

"Christian you cant do this. What about the children? This is my home. We need to talk about this" She gets on her knees and starts crying her eyes out.

"You should have thought about that before you fell into his bed! I'll tell the kids that mommy has work or something. You'll always be their mother but you won't be my wife for much longer" I say it calmly and clearly and I watch as what I have just said registers on her face.

"Wha...what are you talking about?"

"Forsaking all others, ring a bell? You promised before our family and god, that I would be your one and only. And you broke that vow"

"But I didn't I..."

"SHUT UP! I will never, ever trust you again. It sickens me to look at you knowing what you have done. I loved you. I loved you so fucking much" the tears escape my eyes and I have to hold on to the bar of the gate to stop myself from crumbling.

"Why are you talking past tense? You Love me, Christian!"

"Not any more. Not after you betrayed me. Go, Anastasia. Go to Escala and I will have Taylor contact you about visiting the children"

"You can't fucking do this Christian!"

"I can and I fucking will! I would never keep you from your children. They love you and I know you love them. I will have Gail bring them to Escala later and then we will have to sort out something more permanent" I'm in my CEO persona and I feel mildly in control.

"What are you talking about? My home is there!" She points to the house.

"Your home was where ever I was. You used to say that to me all the time. I will no longer be with you therefore this isn't your home anymore. Go to Escala Anastasia" I turn to the gate control panel and lock it down and walk back down the driveway and leave my hysterical wife on her knees on the other side of the gate.

That's how it started. The very next day I hopped on the jet to China for a business trip that I had been putting off because I didn't want to leave Ana that long. Never thought I would go on that trip to get away from her.

I was gone for two weeks and when I got back Ana tried everything in her power to try to get me on my own.

The one time she managed it, she ended up screaming "Red"


	3. RED

**HI GUYS **

**I REALLY AM BLOW AWAY BY THE RESPONSE TO THIS STORY.**

**THE FIRST CHAPTER WAS THE DIVORCE MEETING AND THEN THE SECOND CHAPTER WAS A FLASH BACK. THIS CHAPTER IS SET A FEW HOURS AFTER THE DIVORCE MEETING. I DONT WANT ANYONE GETTING CONFUSED WITH TIME LINES. **

**SOMEONE ASKED ME TO UPLOAD EVERYTHING I HAVE IN ONE GO INSTEAD OF HOLDING MY CHAPTERS HOSTAGE LOL **

**THE REASON I AM UPLOADING THEM ONE AT A TIME IS BECAUSE I AM CHANGING IT AS I GO DEPENDING ON WHAT MY READERS WANT SO THAT IT MAKES IT A BETTER STORY FOR EVERYONE.**

**ALL OF YOU KNOW THAT JOSE SLIPPED SOMETHING IN ANAS DRINK ON THE LAST CHAPTER. I MADE IT REALLY OBVIOUS BECAUSE I WANTED YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT SHE DID NOT KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND I WANT TO SAY ONCE AGAIN THAT ANA WAS NOT SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. **

**A LOT OF YOU HAVE SAID "where was her CPO" BUT IN THIS STORY ANA DOES NOT HAVE SECURITY 24/7. IT WOULD HAVE MADE MY STORY SO MUCH HARDER TO WRITE AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN OVER IN LIKE THREE CHAPTERS IF SHE HAS A CPO.**

**THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR THE REVIEWS**

**YOU GUYS ROCK **

**CHEERS**

**LORNA XOXO**

**P.S YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO HATE CHRISTIAN IN THIS CHAPTER, BECAUSE I HATED THE BASTARD WHEN I WROTE IT LOL **

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><p><strong>CHRISTIANS POV.<strong>

As I sit and look out at the city before me I think back to a little over 5 weeks ago when I found my wife in my apartment. I said things to her that I have had nightmares about since. I was nasty, mean, spiteful and just a plain old prick to her.

**FLASH BACK. 5 WEEKS BEFORE.**

I grip the armrest as the jet touches down and I bury the memories of all the times I have held Ana's hand during landings. She hates take offs and landings.

My trip to China was good on a business level but personally it was hell.

The morning I jetted off to China I told Taylor to move my stuff to Escala and to let Ana come back to the big house. My children need their mother and their home is the house, not Escala.

Every single day since I have been away I have called and skyped the children. For the first week Ana would take the phone or iPad off the kids after I had finished speaking to them to try and talk to me but I would immediately disconnect the call.

She has sent me over 500 texts in the last two weeks. Most of them say "_we need to talk, its a misunderstanding_" or _"I didn't sleep with him, I swear"_ or _"When are you coming home"_ but the one that she sent the most was _"I love you Christian Grey. I always have and I always will. We can fix this!"_

In two weeks I smashed three phones. I can't bare looking at her apologies. I caught her in a bed, naked with another man.

There is no fixing that!

I leave the jet and get into the drivers side of one of the two waiting SUVs. Taylor will drive the other one back to the house on the sound which is where Gail has remained. I will drive back to Escala where Sawyer is waiting with the kids. I have missed them this last two weeks but knowing that they would be waiting for me when I got back made it easier.

Knowing that Ana wouldn't be waiting for me crushed my heart.

For seven years every single time I have come back from a business trip, my wife has been waiting at the door to run into my arms. She would kiss me and fawn over me and tell me how much she missed me. We would spend sometime with the kids but as soon as they were asleep we would race to the bedroom and devour each other. We would stay up for the whole night just making love and talking about my trip and what she did while I was gone.

Tonight I will share a dinner with my kids and then go to an empty bedroom and a cold bed. Normally during business trips I would Skype Ana and we would have phone sex. During this trip I tried to knock one off after an insanely busy and stressfull day only to find that my dick would not cooperate. No matter what I tried I just couldn't get my dick hard. This has never ever happened to me before and it freaked me the fuck out! I called Flynn straight away and told him and he told me it was "probaly stress" and have I been through any stressfull situations lately. I snorted at that and then told him that Ana had cheated on me and I had fled to China. To say he was stunned is an understatement. He kept asking me "Are you sure?". Of course I'm fucking sure! They were naked in a bed together. Doesn't take a genius to figure out that he fucked my wife!

I pull into the underground garage at Escala and grab my bag. I see that Sawyers SUV is parked in one of the spots so I know my kids are here. I jog over to the elevator and tap in the code and it goes straight up. As soon as the elevator doors are open I drop my bag and open the double doors wide.

"Daddy's home!" I yell out but I am met by silence. Where are my children? I scan the great room only to find nothing and then I feel her.

I look to my left and there stands Ana.

"Welcome home, Christian" she smiles sadly.

I am stunned by her appearance. It looks like she has lost ten pounds! Her face is gaunt and her eyes look to big for her head. She's wearing a pair of jeans and blue shirt and her hair is limply tied in a pony tail but at this moment, I don't think I have ever seen anything as beautiful.

Then I remember what she did.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" She looks nevouse and starts twiddling her fingers and then bites her lip.

My traitorous dick who has been dead for two weeks suddenly springs to life. _Are you fucking kidding me! _

"I thought we could talk...we need to talk" she replies timidly.

"Where the fuck are my children?"

"With your mother. She said she would keep them over night so we could sort this out" she points between us and I snort. I walk over to the bar and pour myself a large glass of scotch. I down it in one. The burn feels good and I pour myself another one. As I drink this one, more slowly, I look over the rim of the glass at my wife.

She looks ill. Her weight loss is dramatic. It infuriates me that she hasn't been eating. _You have barely eaten yourself, Grey! _

"What did you tell my mother about...,this" I grit out between my teeth. I haven't told any of my family that we have split up. It's too painful.

"I told her and your father that we had an argument and need a few hours alone so we could get back on track"

"What? You didn't want to tell my parents that you fucked another man?" I am fuming! Just the thought of her and him makes me want to smash something. Or fuck her until she can't stand! The playroom is upstairs. I could tie her up and make her remember who she belongs to! My mind goes to a dark place. A place I haven't been since way before I was married.

"Christian. I. Did. Not. Fuck. Jose!" I can see anger in her eyes as she stares at me. I turn away from her and pour myself another drink.

"I love you Christian. This last two weeks have been hell for me. You wouldn't talk to me or respond to my texts...I...I missed you so much" the emotion cracks her voice and I screw my eyes shut.

She needs to leave before I do something that I will regret. I spin around and face her and almost break when I see her beautiful blue eyes are filled with tears and longing.

"Go home Anastasia"

"I am home! My home is wherever you are"

"Not anymore it's not. Your home is on the sound. My home is here. The Aspen house and the New York apartment are mine but you can have the house in London and the Barbadoes House. I will make arrangements regarding finaces with my lawyer first thing in the morning...he has already written up most of the divorce papers"

"Divorce papers?...you can't be serious?" She starts crying and its all I can do not to comfort her.

"Yes I am serious, Anastasia. Finding you with another man was a deal breaker from me. In four weeks there will be a meeting where you will sign the initial divorce papers and then after that we need to discuss custody arrangements. I'm happy with joint custody but I want them to be..." I am cut off when she runs over to me and starts hitting my chest.

"SHUT UP! Shut up! Shut up! You don't mean this! We love each other! We can't get divorced! I love you!" She starts sobbing into my chest and I know I should comfort Her but she's pressing against my erection and I can't help but grind into her. Her body softens and then relaxes and she tilts her head up to me.

Even though I don't want to, I can't help myself. I take her mouth in a punishing kiss as my hands tangle in her hair. She reacts almost immieditly and jumps a little so that her legs are wrapped around me. We are both desperate for each other even though we both know that this is not what we should be doing right now. I start to stop but then she moans in protest and its all I need before I pick her up and run to the bedroom. I toss her on the bed and then yank her jeans off. It's been over two weeks since I had her and the animal in me just wants to make her mine again. I'm like a wild animal ripping at her as she reaches up to undo her shirt but I don't even give her time to take it off before I am over her.

"Christian...baby, slow down" she pants and then goes to open my shirt. I grab her hands in a vice grip and put them above her head.

"Don't. Touch. Me" her eyes widen at my words "this is for me. Not for you" I growl and then rip her shirt open sending the buttons flying.

I can see the apprehension in her eyes. Something I have never seen before. Even though I want her more than I ever have before I won't force her if she doesn't want this. I would never force her.

"You have a safe word. Do you want to stop?" I growl from above her. She looks into my eyes and then gently shakes her head no and then arches her back in silent invitation.

I try to slow my movements, I really do, but it's been over two weeks since I had her.

_Jose had her last!_

That one thought enters my head and all of a sudden I think about his lips on hers. His hands on her. His cock in her...

Those thoughts drive me insane with anger and jealousy. I undo my belt and push my pants and boxers down just enough to free myself and before I plunge into her making her scream in pleasure.

Her hands tangle in my hair and she starts meeting me thrust for thrust. I bury my face in her neck and just keep pounding away, trying to drive the image of him doing this to her out of my head but it's no good. The monster in me rears its ugly head. I lean up a bit and grasp her face in my hands.

"Did he fuck you like this? Did he make you feel like this?" I grind my hips deeper into her making her moan.

"Christain...I didn't ..." She starts to once again plead her case but I don't want to hear it.

"Shut up!" I roll over so she is above me and I grab her hips.

"Just shut up and fuck me!" She stops her hips and looks down at me like she has never seen me before.

"Say the word and this stops. All you have to say is Red and this stops" I growl up at her and she just slowly shakes her head again and starts to move her hips faster and faster.

Just before I am about to come I flip us back over and drive into her with everything I have. I come with a roar and fall on top of her. She starts grinding herself onto my dick in her race for orgasm but I pull out of her which makes her growl in frustration.

I spread her legs and then pin them down with mine so she can't move and then I grab her hands. I need answers and haveing her pinned beneath me will allow me get them.

"I told you this was just for me. Don't you dare fucking come!"

"Why are you being like this to me?" Tears spring from her hurt eyes as she looks up at me.

"I haven't Fucked you in over two weeks. Tell me, has he been servicing you? Has he fucked you so hard you see stars?" I lean down and get right in her face. She scared. Something she has never been with me before and it makes me sick but I need to know. I need to know why be did to her.

"Christain...get off me"

"No. You wanted to talk, let's talk. Does he make you come? Have you sucked him off? Has he licked your sweet pussy yet? Come on, baby. You wanted to talk, let's fucking talk"

"Red" she screams in my face and I immediately roll off of her. I re zip my pants and sort my belt out while she cries on the bed. The disgust I feel for myself is like nothing I have ever felt before as I watch her cry but I just can't seem to stop myself.

"Get up. Get you clothes on. And then get out" I snap at her. I am being an asshole of epic proportions and it's making me sick that I am treating her like this but the darkness in me is overtaking the gental kind Man that Ana helped build and then destroy.

"Christain! Why are you treating me like a whore? It's only ever been you" she gets on her knees and is pleading with her eyes for me to believe her.

"I'm not treating you like a whore, Anastasia. Whores get paid." I say and then I reach into my pocket and fish out a hundred dollar bill which I then throw at her.

"Now you're a whore" I say before I leave the room. I get as far as the kitchen when she sprints In to the room, doing her jeans up as she enters. The rage in her eyes is like nothing I have ever seen before. She stands right in front of me and then slaps me so hard my head spins.

"I am not a whore, asshole! The only Man I have ever fucked is standing right infront of me but he's so fucking hard headed that he won't listen to me! I did not fuck Jose!"

"And you'll never fuck me again! I am done with you Anastasia. Get out, now. Actually, why don't you stay. I have a sub coming over in about thirty minutes, you can stay and watch me fuck her and then you might just know what I am feeling" The bit about the sub is a total lie but her face drains of colour and a look of horror comes across her beautiful face.

"A...a...sub? You...you...have a ...sub?" Her face then goes green and she rushes to the sink where she is violently sick. She turns to me with tears streaming down her face while shaking violently.

"Pl...please tell me you're lying...please" the last please is a whisperd plea. And I know now how I will get her out of this apartment before I truly do hurt her.

I have to Lie to her.

"Yes I do have a sub, remember Susannah? I had one in China too. Several actually. I tied them up and fucked them over and over again. Harder and harder. The second his dick touched you was the moment when my monogamous side left the building. I'd forgotten how good it felt to fuck someone who had welts on her ass" I smirk at her and she looks like she is going to pass out. She starts crying like a wounded animal and then starts to hiccup so bad that she has trouble catching her breath.

I know my words will destroy any hope she had of a reconciliation with me. If I can't get over the hurt of her with one man, no way she will still love me if she thinks I've been with multiple women.

I have never seen her cry so hard. It's like she is utterly broken. The guilt I feel is overwhelming but then the asshole part of me thinks she deserves this. She deserves this hurt. She slowly stands up right and gently lifts her bag from the chair. She wipes her eyes on her sleeve and then straightens herself out.

She walks by me on her way to the elevator but before she does she stops and gently lays her small hand on my bicep.

"I still love you" she whispers through her tears. "Im begging you to call Susannah and tell her not to come over. Please. You're my husband. I'm your wife...what you did in China...I'll forgive you...eventually...but please...please don't have her come over today. Please...I promise you, on the lives of our children, I didn't cheat on you. I swear it. Please you have to belive me. Come home with me now and let's get everything out on the table and then let's move on from this whole ugly mess"

I turn around and she chokes back a sob when she sees that I have tears in my eyes. I take her arm and lead her over to the elevator. The doors open and I gently push her inside.

"Goodbye, Anastasia" I say coldly.

"Christian...please..." Before she can finish the doors close.

As as soon as she is out of my view I sink down to the floor and cry my eyes out.

How the fuck did this happen? What the fuck has become of my life?

**FLASHBACK OVER**

As I recall that horrible day I realise I have tears running down my face.

Seeing Ana's face today as I signed my part of those divorce papers made me hate myself. She was crushed. When she refused to sign the papers my heart skipped a beat.

This woman who thinks I have been having regular sexual interactions with a submissive. This woman who thinks I had sex with multiple women while I was in China. This woman who I have berated, demeaned and been a downright prick to, still loves me. She loves me enough to forgive me of the sins she thinks I have committed. And I can't forgive her one indescretion? An indiscretion that she has told me she didn't commit over and over again.

A nagging part of my brain springs to life when after seven weeks I think that maybe, just maybe, she didn't do it.

_Ana would never betray us, asshole! Ana loves us! Why don't you just sit down and let her tell you what happened that night! Instead of acting like a first class prick every single time she tries to defend herself!_

I bring my glass to my lips and I find that it's empty. I stand up and go to my bar and pour myself another. My phone starts ringing but when I see that its Elliott I just ignore it.

I know that him and Kate know what is going on with Ana and myself. I've had both of them call me and tell me what an asshole I am being and that Ana would never do that to me. I've stopped speaking to both of them.

My Phone rings again as soon as it stops and then it rings again and again. On the tenth time I answer it with a snarl.

"WHAT?"

"You stupid prick! Why haven't you answered the phone!?" He screams at me.

"Because I don't particularly want to speak to you! Now what do you want?" My patience is running out but what he tells me next makes my blood run cold in my veins.

"Ana's had an accident! She in the hospital...it's bad, Christian"

My already crumbled world crashes around me at his words.

Please God! Not my Ana!


	4. The End?

**HI GUYS**

**ONE WORD. WOW! I HAD OVER 150 REVIEWS FOR THE LAST CHAPTER. I WAS SHOCKED AS I HAD A FEW THAT SAID "F**K THE HEA, LET ANA MOVE ON" AND THE MAJORITY OF YOU WERE LIKE ME, HATED CHRISTIAN IN THAT LAST CHAPTER.**

**I WILL NOT HAVE ANA RUN BACK INTO HIS ARMS BUT SHE LOVES HIM AND HE LOVES HER EVEN THOUGH HE IS BEING AN ASS SO THEY WILL GET BACK TOGETHER.**

**A FEW QUESTIONS WERE "WHERE WAS KATE" "WHAT HAPPENED TO JOSE" "DID ANA GET A BLOOD/RAPE TEST" ALL THOSE QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED IN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS. THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE IN CHRISTIANS POV AND THEN WE SWITCH OVER TO ANAS POV**

**I HAVE STARTED A PINTEREST PAGE. LINK IS ON MY PROFILE.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MESSAGES AND REVIEWS **

**CHEERS**

**LORNA XOXO**

**P.S THERE IS A TIME JUMP IN THIS CHAPTER**

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><p><strong>CHRISTIANS POV<strong>

_Ana's had an accident._

_Its bad, Christian._

_Ana's had an accident._

_Its bad, Christian._

Elliott's words keep ringing over and over in my head. I don't remember driving to the hospital. I don't remember parking my car or running into the emergency Room.

But I will never ever forget the sight of Kate crying hysterically into Elliott's arms as I round the corner to the surgical ward.

"Wha...wha...is she?" I grip my hair and breath a sigh of relief when Elliott shakes his head and tells me she's alive.

The children!

"The kids? Where are the kids?" I ask frantically.

"The children are at home with Gail, Christian" I turn at the sound of my mothers voice.

"Mom. What happened? How is she? Can I see her?" I stride towards her firing questions at her.

"Christian, I don't know how she is. All I know is that she was unconscious when she was brought in. Dr Webber is with her right now assessing her but she was unconscious when she was brought in and well She's...she's pretty banged up"

"What happened?" I ask her but I am interrupted by Sawyer

"I'll tell you what happened you bastard" I turn just in time to see his fist coming towards me at speed before he hits me on the jaw sending me flying. I go flying back into some chairs which makes my mother and Kate scream. Elliott holds Sawyer back as he scrambles to get at me. I get to my feet and slowly rub my jaw.

"If she dies, it's your fault you stupid prick" he snarls at me.

It's no secret that over the last seven years Sawyer and Ana have formed an almost sibling bond. When Ana and I were together we would often go to dinner with Luke and his girlfriend Jennifer. He was one of the few employees that I let my guard down around. I thought of him as a friend but seeing him snarling at me like a rabid beast right now makes me think that whatever friendship I thought we had is now well and truly over with.

"Luke, Chill! This is not Christians fault. It was an accident dude" Elliott tries to calm him but it only fuels Luke's anger.

"It is his fault! He has treated her like shit this last few weeks because he thinks that she slept with Jose which is utter bullshit! Today when we left that fucking divorce meeting she was hysterically crying. She vomited twice before I got her in the car. When we got back to the house she didn't want the children to see her in that state so she jumped into her R8 and drove off to clear her head. I followed her in the SUV and I watched as she pulled over a mile up the road and cried her fucking eyes out! When she had finished she merged into the traffic and a FUCKING LORRY HIT HER! I watched...I watched as her car flipped three times before it landed on the roof!" He breaks down crying as we all listen on in horror at what happened.

"I ran to the car to get her out but it was mangled like a coke can. She was still awake when the fire crew cut her out and before she was put in the ambulance do you know what she said? DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID WITH WHAT VERY WELL MIGHT BE HER LAST BREATH?" He screams at me and I slowly shake my head.

"She told me to tell you that she loved you and to take care of her babies!" He breaks down crying and I do the same.

All the breath leaves my body and I find it hard to breath. I start hyperventilating and clutching at my chest. I am aware of hands on me and people telling me to breath but it's like I'm lost in a sea of darkness and I can't claw my way out of it. Just as I am thinking this I feel an almighty smack across my face. My head turns and when I look up I see Kate looming over me.

"Feel better?" She asks coldly

"Yes, thank you" I say a bit stunned.

"I've wanted to do that to you for years, jackass" she spits at me and then resumes her place in Elliott's arms.

What am I going to do if she dies? What will I tell the children? What if my last words to her are "Don't ever touch me again". I crave Ana's touch. Telling her not to touch me would have hurt her more than my words.

Her betrayal has broken my heart in to tiny little pieces. But each and every one of those pieces loves her. She's the other half of me. That's why what she did hurts so bad. But thinking of never having her in my arms again, whether it be by the cause of this accident of by my banishment of her, hurts worse. So much worse.

We can make it work. It will take a lot for me to trust her again and I am sure that she still thinks I have a sub but we can make it work. Flynn. We need John Flynn. Marriage counselling, couples retreat, I'll even write a fucking journal about my god damn feelings if we can get back on track.

"Family of Anastasia Grey?" A doctor calls and I jump to my feet.

"That's me...I'm her husband. Is she OK? What's wrong with her? Can I see her?"

"If we could talk in private Mr Grey" he says and then leads me to a small waiting room just off the hallway.

"Your wife is stable Mr Grey. We sedated her so her body can heal faster without her moving about to much. In my opinion she is a very lucky woman. The paramedics that brought her in told me about the state of her car and how she had to be cut out of it. She has a broken wrist which we will put in a cast. She has a fractured rib on her left side and she has multiple cuts and bruises over her face but none that will leave any permanent scars so all in all she is very very lucky"

"Thank god" I run my hands over my face in relief.

"Mr Grey. The reason I brought you out here alone is because I looked at your wife's medical records and she has not seen a doctor in over three months so I am assuming that she is not aware that when we did a few tests we discovered that she is pregnant"

"Pregnant!"

"I take it you didn't know?"

I shake my head like a child. Ana's pregnant again? We are having another child?

"Is the baby ok?"

"The baby is fine. We have her hooked up to a foetal heart monitor so we can keep an eye on everything but it seems that everything is fine and normal for a woman who is 7 weeks pregnant"

"7 Weeks?..."

And just like that my world crumbles around me again. Seven weeks ago was when she was with him!

Its his baby.

I know Ana and I had sex that week but the monster inside of me is screaming that it's his child.

"Would you like to see your wife?" He asks gently because I am sure that he can see the change in my attitude. I nod my head and he leads me into a side room where Ana is.

She looks so small in the bed. She has wires over her and her beautiful face is cut and bruised. Memories of when she was in hospital because of Jack Hyde spring to my mind. How things have changed. I look her up and down and memorise every single inch of her. I gently put my hand on her belly where her child is growing. Her child. Not my child.

I lean down and softly press my lips to hers. Tears are streaming down my face because this is it. This is goodbye.

"I'll always love you and I'm so sorry I couldn't be the man you deserved" I whisper and then press a kiss to her forehead. I walk away from her and just before I open the door I look at her one last time.

"Later's, baby"

* * *

><p><strong>CHRISTIANS POV. FOUR MONTHS LATER<strong>

_**"****I'm sorry sir but she won't sign"**_ my lawyer tells me over the phone.

"Did you tell her if she didn't sign then it would have to go to court next time?"

**"_Yes sir I told her. I tried everything I could think of. I also told her that you would give her an extra ten million if she signs before the end of the month and she told me to..."_**

"She told you to what?"

**"She told me to tell you to go fuck your extra ten million and your divorce papers. She also told me to tell you to get your head out of your ass and to talk to her"**

I smirk when he tells me what Ana has said. She always was feisty during pregnancy.

"Thank you William" I hang up and then pour myself another scotch.

Every single time Ana has been presented with divorce papers she has refused to sign them. It must hurt her when she sees my signature already in every single document but she just rips each paper up and tells my lawyer to go fuck himself. She's still fighting for us. It makes me happy. Even though I want her to sign them.

The last four months have been Hell. I haven't spoken to Ana since the day of her accident. For the full 8 days she was in hospital I went in with her every night while she was asleep. She doesn't know I was there but I couldn't let her go through that on her own.

I've seen her since then when I have dropped the kids back to the house but when she tries to stop me at the door to talk I just walk past her. Doesn't stop her from trying every single time though. I want her. I want her badly but she deserve better than me.

I went and saw Jose the same week as Ana's accident. Welch tracked him down to Brazil of all places. I was still holding on to a glimmer of hope that she maybe had not slept with him and that the baby was mine but what he told me confirmed what I knew all along. The words he spit at me still come to the forefront of my mind on a daily basis.

_"Yes we fucked! I fucked her so long and so hard that she didn't know Her own name! I loved diving into that tight little pussy of hers and making her scream my name. She told me she finally knew what a real man was. She begged me to fuck her harder and deeper!" _

That was as much as he said because the next second I once again jumped on him and started hitting him. I was dragged off by my new CPO Johnson and Jose said he was going to sue me for assault. He quickly changed his mind when I had all his credit cards deactivated, his apartment lease torn up and the showings he had booked with five different galleries across South America cancelled. Don't play with me boy because I will win.

I had Barney hack into the security cameras at the hotel and I watched as him and my wife walked into his hotel room. Ana was so drunk she was wobbling all over the place and he had his arms around her holding her up.

I had to get more security staff for myself and a new house keeper when Taylor , Sawyer and Gail both quit. They tried to get me to see reason and to tell me that Ana didn't cheat. They must have sensed that I was about to fire them so they quit. Ana employed them both the next day to work for her. I'm glad that she did really because she needs someone like Taylor to keep her out of trouble. I need someone like Taylor. Never thought I would miss the bastard.

I see my kids multiple times a week and they stay here over night two days a week. I have breakfast with them and take them to school. When it's time for them to be picked up I drive myself like a normal person instead of having a driver and then I drop them back to Ana's. I know that I could get security to take the children home but subconsciously I know I just want a glimpse of Ana.

She always did look beautiful during pregnancy and this time is no exception. Every single time I see her she tells me the same things.

I didn't sleep with Him and this baby is yours. As the months have gone on though I can see her pulling more no more away from me. It's terrifies me.

I want to believe her so bad but the fucked up part of my brain keeps me from running back into her arms and begging her to forgive me for all the hurtful, horrible things I have said to her.

She still thinks that I have a submissive. Even if I did have a sub there's not a lot I could do with her. My dick hasn't cooperated with me when I wanted it to in the last four months. The only way I can get even half way hard is to picture Ana.

Two months ago I was in a bar in London after a very hard meeting when I was approached but a woman. To say she was pretty is an understatement. She had long brown hair, big blue eyes and flawless skin. She came on to me and for over an hour we flirted and dirty talked. We didn't kiss or touch each other in any way, we just enjoyed each other's company. She invited me up to her hotel room and for the first time in over seven years I thought I was going to fuck a woman that wasn't my wife.

I couldn't do it.

She leaned in to kiss me and I pushed her back. For over an hour I had this woman talking dirty and telling me everything I could do to her and my dick stayed in hibernation. It didn't even get semi hard. The thought of cheating on Ana repulsed me. I know that we are separated but we are still married and I couldn't do that to her.

I politely declined her invitation and I went back to my hotel room. I threw myself on the bed and thought about Ana's smile and her lip biting and boom. Instant erection. I hate the fact that she still arouses me this much. What am I going to do once the divorce is finalised? I haven't had sex in six months. I've never gone this long before.

I vaguely entertained the idea of approving Ana with a fuck buddy arrangement but I quickly dismissed it. I doubt very much she would go for that.

I check the time and see that I need to pick the kids up. That is the one thing Ana and I have got right in this whole mess. The kids have always come first. I grab my keys and leave Escala heading out towards the house. I brace myself for the emotional onslaught I get every time I go through the gates. I know in my heart that this place is home.

Every time I get the kids Ana is waiting with them on the front porch or in the foyer and every single time she will say "Hi Christian" and every time I just give a nod of the head. The hurt that comes across her face every time just reminds me of how big of a prick I really am. I love this woman with my whole dark heart but my stubborn asshole self won't let me win this.

When I pull up outside the door dead on five o'clock I am shocked to see the kids waiting with Gail. Not once in six months has Ana not been waiting to talk to me or say hi or to tell me that she still loves me. Where is she?

I get out the car and the kids run to me.

"Hey guys! I hope you're ready for some fun because I'm taking us bowling!" I say excitedly and Phoebe starts clapping but Teddy looks like he has something on his mind. I strap them both I the car and then turn to Gail.

"Hi Gail"

"Christian" she nods stiffly at me. It's no secret that she is disgusted with me over how I have treated Ana but the part of her that always tried to mother me stops her from blanking me completely.

"Where is Ana?" I see a brief spark of...something in her eyes but then she composes herself.

"She's inside. Good day" she turns and then goes back in the house.

Why didn't Ana come out and see me? I know I don't speak to her but I always look forward to seeing her.

I spend the next few hours bowling with the kids and I even treat them to fast food burgers which I hate. When we get back to Escala I give them both a bath and then tuck them in. Phoebe is asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow but Teddy is just staring at the ceiling.

He is truly my mini me. Same hair, same nose, same mannerisms but he has his mothers beautiful blue eyes. At seven years old he is reading at a sixth grade level and he is learning the piano and already has the knack for it. He is normally happy and playful but today he has been withdrawn. I sit next to him and run my hand threw his hair.

"You ok buddy? You have been awfully quiet today" to my horror his little eyes fill with tears.

"Hey hey hey, buddy what's wrong?" I pick him up and snuggle him into my chest to try and sooth him.

"Daddy...why is Mommy so sad?" His little voice cuts through the night but his words are what cut me.

"What do you mean"

"Every night Mommy cries. She thinks I can't hear her but sometime I stand by her bedroom door and I can hear her. Today when she came home she kissed me and Pheebs and then she went up stairs and I heard her crying so hard, daddy"

I hold my little boy tight but tears start leaking from my eyes. Ana cries every day? It's been six months!

"Daddy? Why don't you live with us any more?" He looks up at me with blue eyes so much like his mothers.

"Well bud, sometimes its just better if mommies and daddies live in different homes"

"Do you still love Mommy?"

"I love your mother very much, Theodore"

"That's good. I know mommy loves you"

"How do you know?"

"Mommy lets us sleep in her bed sometimes because she says she likes having someone next to her and Mommy talks in her sleep. It's pretty funny sometimes but mostly she just says "I love you Christian" and some times she thinks that me and Phoebe are asleep but I'm not and she picks up that picture next to her bed. You know the one when you got married? She puts her finger on your picture and tells it that she loves you. It's pretty silly really" he yawns and then snuggles down in his bed. I kiss him goodnight and then walk out the room.

I don't like that the children have heard Ana cry. I don't like it that Ana has cried full stop. And what was that all about with the picture?

I'll talk to her tomorrow. We need to be civil for the sake of the children. I go to bed happier than I have in months just because I know I will see and speak to Ana tomorrow.

The next day I take a little extra time on my appearance. I'm actually nervous about seeing her. When I pull up at the house once again I frown beacause Gail is waiting and not Ana. Where the fuck is she?

The children run into the house after I say goodbye to them. It's almost bedtime and Gail tells them to go on up and get ready for bed. She turns to me with a look of utter sadness.

"Gail, where is Ana? I need to talk to her about something"

"Ana is not available for company right now. She's upstairs resting"

"Why is she resting?" I ask dumbly and Gail glares at me.

"Shes six months pregnant and her blood pressure is a little high so the doctor said she needs some rest"

"Is she ok?" I ask and I can see in her eyes that she so badly a wants to say "What do you care"

"She will be fine" she shuffles her feet from side to side and then leans in behind the front door and when she comes back she is carrying a big envelope.

"She asked me to give you this" I take it without a glance and then say my good bye. I get in the car and put the envelope carefully on the passenger seat. I drive back to Escala and as soon as I am in the great room I sit on the sofa and study Ana's handwriting on the front of it. There is only one word written in her beautiful script "Christian"

I tip the envelope up and five things fall out.

The divorce document that was handed to her yesterday, a note addressed to me, one ultrasound picture and her wedding and engagment rings.

I freeze when I see the rings.

With shaky hands I open the note and read what it says

* * *

><p><em>My dearest Christian<em>

_The day I fell into your office changed my life. I never thought that when I fell in that doorway that I would also fall completely and irrevocably in love with you._

_You swept me off my feet and I think my head is still spinning to this day._

_For six months I have tried telling you that I did not cheat on you. I tell you again in writing. I did not cheat on you. I have never broken the vows I made on that sunny day in July over seven years ago. __I convinced myself that your hard headed nature was keeping you from seeing the truth in my words but yesterday when I once again sat opposit your lawyer he told me the cold hard truth. To use his exact words he said_

_ "Just sign the papers. He doesn't love you anymore and he wants out of this marriage. He regrets marrying you in the first place and if it wasn't for his children he would wish he had never met you in the first place" _

_His words hit me hard because I have always known that you would one day want out of our marriage. I always knew I would never be enough for you but I tried, my god I tried._

_After the meeting yesterday I had to be taken to the hospital. My blood pressure spiked due to stress and I have been told I need to take it easy for the rest of my pregnancy._

_I know that you think that this is not your child but the simple truth is, he is. I hope that when he is born you will show him the same amount of love you have for Teddy and Phoebe. I have enclosed my latest scan picture for you and hopefully you will see what I see. He's the spitting image of you, just like Teddy is. When he is born I will do a DNA test if you want one because I dont want this little boy missing out on having a brilliant and loving father. _

_I never thought our story would end this way but I have to do what is right by my baby. By our baby. The stress of constantly fighting to prove myself and constantly having to meet with your lawyer is taking a strain on me and it is affecting my pregnancy so for my child, our child, I am doing something that I never wanted to do._

_I have signed the papers. All you have to do is file them but I ask that should you wish to talk about some amendments I made that you go through my lawyer as the stress of discussing this is just too much for me and for the baby._

_Even though I love you, I don't know if I will ever forgive you. You have treated me, the mother of your children, like a common street walker and, Christian, I'm worth more than that. I don't know how you could throw the last seven years away and I don't know how your love for me could just stop. I know I made mistakes. If I could turn back the clock I would have stopped my friendship with Jose the night of the drunk dialling incident. I know you never liked him and I am sorry if you ever thought I put my friendship with him over my love for you. That was never the case. You were always my number 1 along with our children._

_I won't even begin to try to understand the hate you know feel for me. If the tables had been turned I would have lashed out too...but, I would have talked to you before I pushed for a divorce. Why would you not talk to me? I guess it doesn't matter any more. _

_I know you have pushed this divorce from the beginning but now its my time to push. I want to leave this marriage with the ounce of dignity and pride I have left. I need to heal. And I need to concentrate on the baby and the kids. _

_I leave you now with these words. _

_You're a good man Christain Grey, even if you are a jackass_

_You are a man that I am proud to be able to say that even if it was for a little while, he was mine. _

_I loved you then, I love you now and you will forever be my love. _

_I hope you have a long and happy life and that one day you will be able to forgive me and forgive yourself for this whole mess we got ourselves into._

_Forever yours _

_Mrs Grey (For one last time)_

_xxx_


	5. A slap up the side of the head

**HI GUYS**

**OVER 500 REVIEWS. IN 4 CHAPTERS. WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW.**

**I HAVE BEEN TOLD "its my birthday, please update" AND "I am not having a baby but the next teddy bear will be named Lorna" lol **

**I WAS GOING TO POST TOMORROW BUT THE REVIEW THAT CHANGED MY MIND WAS THE GUEST WHO SAID "Damn Lorna - 4 chapters and I'm your 500 th review. Please spoil us with a chapter...please!?"**

**JUST A COUPLE OF THINGS TO CLEAR UP.**

**1- UNLESS CHRISTIAN FILES THE DIVORCE PAPERS THEY ARE NOT DIVORCED.**

**2- A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE SAID "with Christians resources he would have found some evidence of her innocence" THAT IS TRUE HOWEVER THAT WOULD HAVE MADE MY STORY A ONE SHOT. NOT A LOT I CAN WRITE ABOUT HIM WALKING IN ON THEM AND THEN LOOKING AT CCTV.**

**3-HOW LONG WILL THIS STORY BE BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SURE IF YOU CAN STAND THE ANGST LOL? THE END OF CHAPTER 6 IS STEP ONE ON THE ROAD TO THEIR HAPPY EVER AFTER BUT BEFORE THEY GET THERE I AM GOING TO PUT IN SOME FUN/SEXY/BONDING CHAPTERS AND THEN WE HAVE THE BIRTH OF THE BABY AND SO ON.**

**4-I HAVE STARTED A PINTEREST, LINK IS ON MY PROFILE**

**5- NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE ON EITHER SUNDAY OR MONDAY**

**CHEERS**

**LORNA XOXO**

* * *

><p><strong>CHRISTIANS POV<strong>

What the fuck! She signed the divorce papers? She's giving up on us?

SHE CANT FUCKING DO THAT!

_I thought this is what you wanted? You wanted a divorce, now you have a divorce. All you have to do is give those papers to your lawyer and then boom, she's ancient history._

She's my_ WIFE! _

_She's the woman that in the last few months you have treated like a whore, you've called her a whore, you called her a liar, a cheat, you told her never to touch you again and you told her that you have been fucking a sub every chance you can get. Now th__at she wants out and suddenly she's the toy you don't want anyone else to have!_

I love her! I've always loved her! I always will. She's mine!

_Ah, but remember Jose? The man who you said fucked her. The man that you said she opened her legs for? I thought you said he mounted your wife over and over again until she screamed his name in pleasure? _

_"_SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! ANA WOULD _**NEVER**_ BETRAY ME!" I scream to the empty room.

_Finally_!

I sink to the floor and let Ana's letter fall to the ground. Oh my god what have I done? I thought she cheated but Ana would never do that to me. Even if I did find her in bed naked with him. I think back to that night and the things I missed in my rage come flooding back to me.

I beat him half to death and had him screaming his lungs out and Ana didn't even stir. It wasn't until I literally threw him across the room did she wake up and even then it was only because she was knocked out the bed.

Ana's not that deep of a sleeper. All I used to do was run a finger over the shell of her ear and she would wake up.

When she realised where she was to she was really disorientated. And her eyes! Her eyes were completely bloodshot. I assumed at the time it was because of the amount of alcohol she had consumed but I've seen Ana drunk before. She has stages. She gets really giggly, then quiet and then she is either sick or passes out. Never have I ever seen her eyes bloodshot because of alcohol.

A few years back I took Ana away to Rome for a week. During our third day there we went to a vineyard and we purchased a few bottle of wine. When we got back to the hotel we got silly and drank 5 of the bottle between the two of us. I had the hangover of all hangovers but Ana was fine. Yet when she went out with Kate and Jose four Martinis and two beers made her jump in bed with another man? It's not possible.

What if he slipped something in her drink and took advantage of her?

_ I'll kill him! I'll rip him limb from fucking limb!_

The photo on the floor catches my attention and I pick it up. Ana was of course correct. This little guy is the spitting image of me. It's a 3D scan so I can see every single detail on his little face.

How could I have ever thought he wasn't mine? What a brilliant track record I have with finding out I'm going to be a father.

Found out about Teddy, freaked out.

Found out about Phoebe, Passed out.

Found out about this little guy, refused to believe he was mine and stopped speaking to his mother for four months.

I'm a horrible human being. I'm a monster. I've treated the one person who I always said I would treasure and treat like a princess like absolute shit.

Her rings catch my eyes and I start crying. I pick up her wedding band and start sobbing when I see the inscription "My more".

I need to see her. I need to make this right. But first I need to make a call. I grab my phone and tap in the number I need.

"William? Grey. Listen to me and listen good. You're fucking FIRED! HOW DARE YOU TELL MY WIFE I WISHED I HAD NEVER MET HER AND THAT I DIDN'T LOVE HER! CLEAR YOUR FUCKING OFFICE OUT AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING A JOB IN THIS STATE AGAIN. YOU'RE FUCKING FINISHED!" I scream and end the call before he has even said one word.

I grab my keys and go down in the elevator. The thirty minute drive to the House takes me 18 minutes. I must have broken every speed limit known to man on the way over but I don't give a fuck.

I tap in the code on the gate and fly down the driveway. I leave the car right outside the door and then use my key to let myself in. The house is in silence. I run into the living room and kitchen and find no one.

I sprint up the stairs and slowly open Teddy's door. His bed is empty. Then I remember what he said about Ana letting them sleep with her.

I walk towards the master bedroom, our bedroom, and slowly open the door.

In the middle of our gigantic marital bed is my family. My wife, who I have hurt so much, is in the middle with my daughter asleep on her left and our son on her right. How could I ever think I could live without her? Without this? How could I have let the monster inside me push her away?

I can't think about this right now. I just want to hold Her. I gently move Phoebe over so she is between Teddy and Ana and I slip in the bed next to my wife. I won't fall asleep, I just want to hold her for a few minutes. I'll go back to Escala tonight and then come back in the morning and hopefully we can talk and sort this out.

Ana turns over in her sleep and instinctively she snuggles into my chest and places her hand right over my heart. A contented sigh slips from her lips and then I see a very small smile appear on her face. I wrap my arm around her pregnant belly where my son is growing and let the tears fall silently from my eyes.

I feel more peaceful than I have in six months. My eyes start to droop and I mentally tell myself to get the fuck out of her bed before she wakes up but then sleep consumes me like a fog.

* * *

><p>SPLASH!<p>

I am pulled from the best sleep I have had in half a year when I feel ice cold water being thrown all over me.

"Ahhhh. What the fuck?" I bolt up in the bed and come face to face with my wife who is stood next to me with a fucking bucket in her hands.

"Those were my exact thoughts when I woke up this morning to find my ex husband wrapped around me like a vine! What the fuck are you doing here?" She's angry. Very angry. She has every right to be.

"Husband...and I...I...came to talk to you last night but you were asleep"

"So you thought you would just crawl in to my bed and spoon me? Do you know how fucking creepy that is?

"It seemed like a good idea at the time" I mumble

"Well it was a fucking stupid idea. Now get out" she points to the door.

"What?"

"Get the fuck out of my bed, get the fuck out of my room and get the fuck out of my house. Right now"

"But I came here to talk to you"

"I don't care if you came here to talk to Teddy's goldfish. Get out now"

"Why are you being so mean to me" I sound like a child but she barks a laugh. A very un-Ana like laugh.

"I'm being mean to you? Why don't you try this on for size...You're a prick. You are a horrible man and if it wasn't for my children I would wish to God I had never met you. Now why don't you go home because Jose is on the way over and I'm in the mood to let him fuck my ass. You can stay and watch if you want but I will have to charge you for the pleasure"

"Shut up!" I leap out of bed and take her upper arms in my grip.

"just shut the fuck up! Why would you say that!"

"Those are the same words that you have said to me and the same words that your lawyer spit at me! It's not nice hearing how the person who you thought was the other half of your soul brags about fucking another person is it?"

"Ana...I...I'm sorry"

"Sorry? You're sorry? Well that makes everything better. Move back in here and let's be a family again and tonight we can celebrate with an all night fuck-a-thon" she says it sarcastically but my body reacts to her plump lips saying the word "Fuck-a-thon". I'm standing close to her so I know she feels it but she takes a step back out of my grip and looks at me in disgust.

I reach out to touch her face and she shocks me by slapping me so hard my head turns.

"Don't ever touch me again" she spits the words I said to her back at me and walks out the room.

Fuck!

I quickly go into the bathroom to pee and then I splash cold water on my face. My tee shirt is soaked from the water that she threw on me. I walk In to my old closet hoping to find maybe a tee shirt or sweater that I had left behind but I am shocked when I open the door.

All my stuff is in here. And I don't mean just my clothes. All my stuff. All the nick knacks I had in my office. My golf clubs. And all the pictures of Ana that I had in my office along with all our wedding photos and all the candid shots that we took ourselves over the years. It's like every bit of me in this house has been banished to this one closet. Why is it in here? We have a massive storage room in the basement and a storage shed in the back yard.

I reach over and grab one of my old polo shirts and shrug it on. I leave the bedroom and head towards the kitchen. The clock snags my attention and I gasp when I see its 10:30. I haven't slept this late for...about six months. I don't sleep well without Ana.

I realise that I have missed the chance to see the children because its a Tuesday so they will already be at school.

I stop in the kitchen when I see Gail but no Ana.

"Um...Hi Gail" I mutter. She looks up for a fraction of a second and I see something in her eyes. Relief? Hope? It passes before I can pin what it is.

"Good morning Christian" she slides a coffee across the counter to me and for the first time in months doesn't give me a dirty look as she leaves the room.

I quickly drink my coffee and then go In search of Ana. I don't have to look far because I know where she will be. I gently push the library door open and see her sitting at her desk on the phone.

"_The edits are non negotiable, Wayne. You can't have the lead character die in chapter three and then be resurrected in the bathroom of all places in chapter 10. Dallas did that with Bobby Ewing in the shower years ago and we all know how that turned out...yes you can keep that...nope that has to go...completely Wayne!...OK then...I'll have Hannah set up a meeting to see you in the next few weeks...OK...goodbye"_ she hangs her phone up and then writes something on her lap top. She must sense me standing at the door because her head snaps up. She gives me a death glare and then starts tapping away on her laptop.

"I thought I told you to get the fuck out of my house? I have to keep my blood pressure even and you're making it go through the roof, so please leave"

"We need to talk. We need to sort this out. I don't want a divorce" I say it all in one breath as I sit down on a chair in front of her desk.

She looks up in shock at my words and instead of seeing happiness I just see coldness.

"You don't want a divorce? You have been making my life a living hell for months because you thought I fucked Jose and I finally give up and give you what you want and now all of a sudden you no longer want a divorce. Well too bad, Grey! I am sick to death of being steam rolled by you. I have been trying to tell you over and over again that I didn't sleep with Jose and you wouldn't believe me. Do you know the first thing I thought when I woke up naked in that bed?" She asks me and for the first time this morning I see a few tears glisten in her eyes.

I shake my head slowly and grip my chair. Its killing me to know that I have broken her.

"The first thing I thought was that I had been sexually assaulted! I only remember a few things about that night . One was when Elliott called Kate and told her that Ava was sick. Kate went home and I wanted to finish my drink. I had half a Cosmo left but as soon as I drank it I felt funny. I remember Jose telling me that I shouldn't drive and that he would take me home but he needed his keys from his room. Then the next thing I knew I had a beaten half to death Jose being thrown at me!" She yells.

"Are you saying?...did he?...were you?" I can't get the words out.

"No, I wasn't. When you callously threw all my clothes over the front gate I drove straight to the hospital...I had to have a rape kit and blood tests done. Do you know how scared I was? Do you know what thoughts were going through my head? I was in there for hours waiting for the results and every single text I sent you, telling you I needed you, was answered with "_Go fuck yourself, Anastasia"_..., do you know what they found in my system? Enough sleeping pills to knock out a football team. He had crushed them up and slipped them in my last Cosmo" she starts crying into her hands and I get up to comfort her but she puts her hands up.

"No! You don't have the right to touch me! I'm only telling you all of this because these are the words I've been trying to say to you for months and I can't get them out of my head! If you had only given me a chance to talk to you then we would be together right now, waiting for the birth of our son, instead we are separated and getting a divorce because your self loathing took over you and you pushed me away" she grabs a tissue from a box next to her desk and starts dabbing her eyes.

"Your doctor told me that you had not been in for three months, why would he lie to me?"

"Doctor patient confidentiality Christian, especially with tests of that nature. For all my doctor knew you were the one who drugged me" she snaps and then dabs her eyes again.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you when, Christian? In one of the thousands of texts I sent you? Or one of the times when you wouldn't even look at me when I tried to get you to talk to me or maybe I should have put it in the note I sent you along with the divorce papers!" She snarls

"I confronted Jose. I went to the hospital while he was still hooked up to a million wires and I started screaming at him. Do you know what he told me? He said that he just wanted one night with me. He was never going to touch me he just wanted to hold me. He said it was a mistake and that he was sorry. I punched him straight in the mouth. Because of him I nearly lost my baby. The only reason I didn't turn him over to the police there and then was because his father was dying and he begged me to let him say goodbye before I told the cops. I gave him two days to say his goodbyes and then I was telling the police. I was so fucking naive. He skipped town without ever seeing his father who died three days later and I haven't seen him since"

"I have. He's in Brazil" I mutter and she gasps.

"What were you doing with him?"

I squirm in my chair and can't look her in the eyes.

"I wanted to know what happened that night. Not knowing was eating me up"

"You are fucking unbelievable! Me, your wife, you ignore but the man you accused her of fucking you take his word as law! What the fuck is wrong with you! You went all the way to Brazil when I am 10 miles from you and you ignore me!" She seethes

"I'm fifty shades of fucked up. You know this"

"Yes, you are. Now get the fuck out!"

"No I'm not going anywhere. You are carrying my baby and I have a right to know about his development. Did the pills affect him?"

"Oh now he's yours? What happened to him being another man's child? And not that it is any of your business but MY baby is fine but I was lucky I didn't miscarry him because of the drugs in my system when he was still the size of an apple pip" she huffs and looks away from me.

We sit in silence for a minute and I see the monumental shift that has happened in our relationship. It's my fault. I should have listened to her. I should have held her hand when she was frightened and instead I pushed her away and was the worlds biggest asshole to her. I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much.

I stand up and slowly walk around her desk. I perch myself on the edge of her desk and gently run my fingers down her face. She flinches at my touch.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. You have no idea how much I hate myself right now. I was horrible to you and I treated you like shit. If I could go back in time and change that night I would, but I cant. I love you. I have always loved you and I always will and I'm going to make this right. I'm going to prove to you that I am the man _you_ always thought I was instead of the monster _I_ always knew I was. You, me, Teddy, Pheebs and Blip Three. I'll make us a family again, Anastasia. I promise you" I'm laying my heart on the line and I'm hoping like I have never hoped before that she gives me a chance. She looks at me with her big blue eyes and stands up before she gently lays her hand on my face. For a split second I think she is going to kiss me but then her eyes take on a very dark look.

"You should go. I'm sure Susannah is waiting for you to beat the shit out of her" she walks away from me and I try to call her back but she is having none of it.

"Ana I didn't..."

"Go fuck yourself, Christian" she slams her door behind her and leaves me in the empty library.

What the fuck have I done?


	6. The Road Back

**HI GUYS**

WOW. THERE WAS A BIT OF CONTROVERSY OVER THE LAST CHAPTER. I KNOW THE STORY IS NOT PERFECT. IF I WANTED IT TO BE PERFECT I WOULD SPEND DAYS MAYBE EVEN WEEKS MAKING SURE I GOT EVERYTHING RIGHT BEFORE I POSTED BUT I LIKE MY STORIES TO BE POSTED REGULARLY AND IF I HAD TO MAKE SURE THAT EVERY LITTLE THING WAS PERFECT I WOULD GET BORED FAST AND THE STORY WOULD SUFFER.

I LIKE WRITING THIS STORY AND JUDGING BY THE 600 ODD REVIEWS THE 370 ODD FOLLOWERS AND THE 200 FAVOURITES, I THINK MOST OF YOU LIKE IT TOO.

A LOT OF PEOPLE SAID "Christian would not do that" OR "Ana would have done this". THIS IS **MY** VERSION OF ANA AND **MY** VERSION OF CHRISTIAN SO THEY ARE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT AND THEY ARE GOING TO DO WHATEVER I WANT THEM TO DO.

I THINK WHAT MOST OF THE NEGATIVE REVIEWS NEED TO REMEMBER IS THAT I AM ONLY **5** CHAPTERS DEEP WITH THIS STORY. MORE QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED AS EACH CHAPTER PROGRESSES. THERE MAY BE PLOT HOLES BUT EVERYTHING WILL SORTED BEFORE THE STORY IS FINISHED.

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS, GOOD OR BAD

NOW ON WITH THE STORY. I WANT TO GET TO THE GOOD TIMES SO THIS CHAPTER MAY PROGRESS A BIT FAST FOR SOME PEOPLE BUT LIKE I SAID BEFORE, ITS MY STORY AND I ENJOY WRITING IT MY WAY.

THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL ANSWER THE QUESTION, WHY DIDNT SHE SHOW HIM THE PAPERS THAT PROVED SHE WAS DRUGGED AND SO ON. NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP ON TUESDAY.

DON'T FORGET THE PINTREST

MY STORY RECOMMENDATION THIS WEEK IS **Fifty Shades of Lies and Love By Khiyo Gizele**

CHEERS

LORNA XOXO

* * *

><p><strong>ANAS POV<strong>

"Go fuck yourself, Christian" I throw over my shoulder as I slam the door. I waddle my way up to my bedroom and stand by the window that over looks the front of the house. A few minutes later I watch as my husbands R8 zooms off down the driveway.

I sit in my rocking chair and cradle my bump as the tears fall down my face. They're tears of relief. Finally it's got through his thick skull. I love my husband, I love him with every breath in my body but he makes me so damn mad!

He's not completely at fault for this mess we have got ourselves in but 99% is his fault. My only mistake was not listening to him all those times he told me that Jose wanted in my panties. How messed up in the head was he that he thought it was OK to drug me get me naked and spoon me? I thank god every day that he didn't touch me.

When I confronted him in the hospital he told me that he stripped my dress off and then passed out. The tests that I had at the hospital proved that I was not touched in a anyway. I regret not calling the police on him then and there but little old naive me was thinking about Jose, Sr. I wanted him to be able to see his son one last time but Jose skipped out without a backward glance and his father died three days later. If it takes me to I am 100 I will make sure that Jose doesn't get away with what he did.

This last six months have been hell for me. I could see in Christians eyes that he knew deep down that I didn't sleep with Jose but I could also see the demons that have plagued my husband All his life in his eyes.

Every single time I would try to talk to him he would ignore me and walk out. He said some nasty things to me that I know he will regret to the day he dies. The day he came back from China and I saw him at Escala was possible the worst day of my life. His words hurt and then when he treated me like a whore after we had sex, well let's just say that's not his best moment.

He tried to make me hurt as much as he was hurting inside and in one way I understand because despite his wealth and looks, Christian is a very insecure man.

When he told me that he had fucked subs in China and that he had Susannah coming over made me sick to my stomach. For a good ten minutes I cried because I believed him. Then I realised he was lying. He may think he has this impassive mask but his eyes always tell me the truth. It was killing him to hurt me. The CCTV footage of his hotel room while he was in China that Luke got for me proved he was lying. Apart from his meetings and a few business dinners he didn't leave his hotel room and he never had company.

When I found out I was pregnant I was elated. About a month before everything went down, Christian and I decided to have another baby. We were going to wait until Christmas to start trying but I decided I wanted to surprise him so I came off the pill there and then. Never in a million years did I think we would be in this mess by the time I was six months pregnant.

I love Christian. It's that simple. Do I want him back? Yes. Will I forgive him? Eventually. Will I run to him with open arms? Fuck no!

We have both made mistakes in this whole mess but I've never spit words out at him to purposely hurt him. Telling me he had fucked other women in China and that he had Susannah coming to Escala was the lowest point of my life.

The only reason I signed those papers and sent him my rings was to give him a kick up the ass. It could have backfired on me horribly but calling his bluff was the best thing I have done in 6 months. All the time he doesn't file them we are still married. I know he won't file them.

When I woke up this morning and found him wrapped around me was like winning the lottery. I watched him sleep and for the first time in seven years I know why he always watched me sleep. It's comforting.

What I didn't want him to think is that we can just jump back together and everything will be hunky dory. I know it's juvenile but I want him to fight for me like I have been fighting for him for 6 months. Only problem now is that I don't know where to go from here. I've never made a man work for it before. When I first met Christian I was pretty much a foregone conclusion from the word go.

I grab my phone off the dresser and text Kate. She knows how to play this game better than anyone.

**Hey, you were right. Signing the papers was the kick up the ass he needed. I woke up this morning to him in my bed! **

**Ha! See I told you, Steele! Oldest saying in the world, you don't know what you've got until you lose it. So what's the plan now? **

**That's why I texted you. I have no idea! **

**Make him see what he has been missing. Next time he picks up or drops off the kids let him see you wearing something slutty ;) **

**Kate! I don't even think I own anything slutty and I am the size of a house! **

**Didnt you once say that he almost came over himself when you wore that blue dress? Remember the one you bought for the GEH party a few years ago? The goddess sundress dress? **

**Yes! I still have that and it was stretchy so it should fit! :) thanks Kate. **

**Anytime Steele. Make sure you let me know how it goes and what ever you do. DO NOT FUCK HIM! Make him work for it! **

**But...I'm so Horny I could die :( it's been so long...can't I just a little bit? **

**NO! If you fall back into his bed he is going to think everything is ok again when you both have a long road ahead of you. Trust me on this, ok? **

**I suppose. I'll text you tonight. He's picking the kids up from school so I'll see him later **

**Laters**

I know she is right. I may not like my husband very much at the minute but I love him and sex has always been our thing. I need him. My body craves him but I won't give in. He needs to learn that he can't bulldoze me any more. He has treated me appallingly and he needs to pay for those mistakes, but I guess I need to pay for mine too.

I will regret every day for the rest of my life that I kept Jose in my life. I should have listened to my husband. He completely erased all aspects of Elena from his life because I couldn't stand her. Guilt eats away at me that I didn't give Christian the same satisfaction of removing Jose from my life before it completely fucked up my marriage.

I know Christian and I will be together again. I just don't what to rush into it. We need to take this slow and steady and who knows? We may even come out the other side stronger than ever.

* * *

><p>Why do I feel nervous? This man is my husband. He said he wants us back which is what I want too so why am I so nervous? Perhaps it's because it still hurts. He hurt hurt me so bad but I can't live without him. I won't raise my children in a broken home just because I'm holding a grudge against their father.<p>

I'm wearing a figure hugging bluedress and a pair of heels. Small heels but hey, they fit on my swollen feet so im counting it as a win. If he asks why I'm wearing this outfit I'm going to say it's none of his business.

_God I'm so childish!_

I hear the front door open and then I hear little feet come racing around the corner.

"Hey babies!" I scoop down and open my arms to them and they rush me. I give them kisses and then tell them to go upstairs and change their clothes. They run from me and I turn to their father. I have felt his eyes on me for the last minute but I refused to look at him. When I do look he is standing there with his jaw hanging and bunch of flowers in his hand.

"Christian" I greet him politely

"Anastasia...I...you look...Wow!" He is practically drooling and I can clearly see his arousal through his pants. I feel myself become aroused but I try my hardest to hide it.

"Thank you" I turn from him without saying another word and walk into the kitchen where I pour myself a glass of non alcoholic wine. I can sense him behind me but I pay him no attention. Let him work for it.

"These are for you" he says quickly and when I turn he is holding the flowers out to me. He looks like a lost puppy worried that I won't accept his gift.

"Thank you" I take the flowers from him and our fingers touch for the briefest second. The jolt that goes through me is like and electric shock. I know he felt it too because his eyes have darkened.

"Would you like a glass of wine? It's non alcoholic but it's refreshing"

"Yes please, Anastasia" he says quietly and then he gently takes his suit jacket off and hangs it on the back of a chair before he sits on one of the bar stools. I can see it in his face that he is worried I'm going to tell him to go but I wont. I've craved this kind of contact with him for months.

I pour him a glass of wine and then slide it to him before I hop onto the stool opposite him. My dress hikes up my thighs a bit showing the lacy tops of my hold ups. He eyes bore into my thighs and he gulps.

"That's some dress...are you going somewhere?"

"No I just got back" I lie.

"From where?"

"Nothing important" I shrug and take a sip of my wine. He's not happy with my response and I can tell he is itching to demand I tell him but he bites his tongue. He gulps his wine and then turns to face me head on. In his eyes I see a lot of regret, self loathing and longing.

"I'm so sorry Anastasia. So fucking sorry. I was a world class prick to you and I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm asking for it anyway. Please baby, please give me another chance. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you I swear to you. I want my family back Ana. I miss our little routine and I miss sleeping in your arms. I haven't slept right for months and Flynn had me on these sleeping pills which were making me turn into a zombie during the day so I came off of them. My nightmares are back worse than ever but I know it's my own doing...I knew deep down you didn't sleep with him but the monster in me reared it's ugly head time and again...that day you came to Escala and I...we...in the bedroom...I'll never forgive myself for that...I treated you like no woman should ever be treated by the man who loves her" he snorts and then drinks the last of his wine before he stands up. "I guess the pimp and Elena were right all along. I am a worthless piece of shit" he grabs his jacket and then walks out the room leaving me stunned.

He started that off asking for forgiveness and a chance and it ended with him wallowing once again in a pit of self pity. What a fucking Ass!

I get off my chair and March to the front door. Just as I swing it open I see him just about to get in his car.

"Hey, Jackass!" He spins around in confusion at my words and the tone of my voice. I walk up to him so I am stood about a foot in front of him.

"So that's it? You're just going to start the pity party and hope I feel sorry enough to take you back?"

"Ana I..."

"Shut up! I am talking! What is wrong with you? Why is your head so fucked up that you let that dark part of you take over and think the worse? You just asked my forgiveness and for another chance and then you called yourself a piece of shit and walked out. What was going through your mind when you did that?"

"I don't know" he mumbles and then looks down

"Bullshit! I swear to god if you don't tell me right now I'll divorce your ass so fast your head will spin" I yell at him.

"I WAS THINKING HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATED MYSELF BECAUSE I RUINED IT! I LOOK AT YOU AND ITS GONE! I DON'T SEE IT ANY MORE AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO FUCKING DIE!" He screams and then starts crying.

I have never seen him like this before. I think six months of stress, loathing and lack of sleep has gotten to him. He slumps down onto the seat of his car with his feet still planted in the ground and holds his head. Deep mournful sobs starts to rack his body and I watch as he dashes the water from his eyes. His tears bring my tears and I wipe my eyes. He may be a jackass, but he's my jackass.

I crouch down as much as my pregnant belly will allow me to and I gently touch his shoulder.

"Hey" I say softly "Christian? Shh it's OK" his arm reaches out and he pulls me onto his lap so I am sat on his knees. It's not very comfortable because of the small confines of the car but I don't care. I'm in my husbands arms and this is where I am supposed to be.

"I'm sorry" he shudders and then wipes a few of his tears that have dampened my dress.

"it's OK. Christian, talk to me. What's gone? What don't you see any more?" I have my arms wrapped around his head which is resting on my chest.

"You don't love me any more" he whispers and I pull his head away from me.

"What?"

"How could you still love me? Look at what I have done to us. I can see it in your eyes. You used to look at me and there was this look and now...now it's gone and I don't see it any more. I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry I broke us, so very sorry" I grab his face in my hand and look straight into his eyes.

"You're an ASS! You're the most ignorant, stupid, asshole I think I have ever met in my life! You think I don't love you anymore? I love you too fucking much! That's why it hurt so much when you could so easily walk away from me and my love for you"

"You still love me?" He sounds like a child.

"Of course I still love you! I'll always love you! That's why I don't understand how you could just ignore me and go about your life like I didn't matter a thing to you...how could you just switch your feelings off for me?" I start crying and this time he holds me close to his chest.

"No baby no! Don't cry"

We sit in silence for ten minutes and then he leans over and opens the glove box. He grabs a black journal and hands it to me.

"What's this?" I ask as I go to open the cover by he stops me.

"No, don't open it yet. Open it tonight when you're in bed. It will explain how I have been feeling when I wasn't with you. I'm going to go back to Escala for the night and after you have read this I am hoping that you will agree to have dinner with me tomorrow. I love you, Anastasia Grey. I always have and I always will and like you said, I've always steam rolled you. You've always put me first but for once I am letting you decide. From this point forward the balls in your court, OK?"

"OK"

He softly takes my face in his hands and then leans forward slightly seeking permission to kiss me. I close the distance and as soon as my lips land on his I feel like the old me. It's like I've come home, even though I haven't gone anywhere.

The kiss Is slow and gentle and in my opinion, over too soon.

"I love you"

"I love you too, Christian. But I'm no where near ready to begin to like you again"

* * *

><p>Its 10pm and I am fresh out the shower sat in the middle of my huge bed with the journal Christian gave me today in my hands. I don't know why but I am apprehensive to open it. He said it will give me an insight into his feelings for me over the last six months. In person, face to face, his feeling for me were clear. He hated me. That's why I'm not sure I want to open it.<p>

_Just open the fucking thing! _

Ok, Jeez!

I open it and the first thing I see is the name John Flynn and his down town office address.

_Huh?_

On the next page I see Christians handwriting and what he has written makes me giggle but also tells me what this is.

_This journal belongs to CTG __because his stupid over paid charlatan shrink thinks it will help me to write down my "feelings" about my errant wife ARG._

I turn the next page and see that the first date is the day after we broke up. I run my finger tip over his writing and feel the tears starts to burn my eyes.

_**I don't know why im doing this! Flynn thinks it will help me work through my "feelings". The only thing I am feeling at the moment is hurt. I'm hurt that my wife was in bed with another man and I'm hurt in the thoughts that my wife might leave me and fall into his arms. He can't have her! She's mine! Always has been and she always will be! I love her so damn much and it's ripping my fucking heart In two thinking that she might have fucked him. I don't think she did. Ana would never betray me. Ana. Anastasia. Anastasia Rose Grey. The most stubborn, reckless, stupid, insane, lovable, smart, sexy, beautiful woman in the world. And I made her do this. She went to him because I don't treat Her the way she deserves to be treated. It's all my fault.**_

I wipe my eyes when I finish reading what he has written. He wrote that I _might_ have fucked Jose. He wrote that I wouldn't betray him. He wrote that I was his even when at the time he was ignoring all my attempts to contact him. He wrote that he didn't treat me the way I deserve to be treated? He has always treated me like a queen! Well apart from the last six months. And he said it was all his fault? The stupid self loathing Ass!

I flick through some more pages and it's more of the same until I get to the date of my car accident. The day he found out I was pregnant.

**I _almost lost her today because a fucking truck plowed into her. When Elliott called and told me she was in an accident and that it was bad my world stopped. I've treated her like shit these last few weeks but I love her, she can't leave me! She can fuck every single guy in Seattle for all I care but she can't die, it would kill me. I need her and I will take her anyway I can't get her. When I got to the hospital and Luke punched me his words hit home. I have treated her like shit and she doesn't deserve it and I don't deserve her. When the doctor told me she was pregnant my heart swelled with love for blip number three. Then the monster took over me and I thought it was Joses baby. It's MY baby! Seeing my Ana broken and bruised in that bed made me realise that I only hurt her. If we were together she wouldn't have been hit by that truck. It's my fault. I have to walk away from her. It's for her own good. I'm too fucked up_**

The next fifty pages are just my name entwined with his and little doodles of hearts and flowers. One of the pages shock me because it says "Tattoo ideas". Christain always told me he hates tattoos. The picture underneath it is of a heart surrounded by roses. Hanging around the heart is a tie and underneath the tie are the words _Mon Amour, Mon Plus, Mon Tout, Anastasia._ I quickly pull the translator up on my phone and then proceed to cry my eyes out when the translation comes up.

_**My Love, My More, My Everything, Anastasia.**_

Tears spring to my eyes once again when I think of him in that cold apartment on his own. I know he was an asshole to me but I had the support of not only his family who took my side even though I never asked them too but I also had Gail and Taylor who were Christians family way before I even came on the scene and he had nobody. I can picture him now at Escala, waking from a nightmare and then playing his piano until the early hours. His words and actions _almost _broke me, but they actually _did_ break him.

I grab my phone and text him

**I READ YOUR JOURNAL...**

**OK...WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?**

**I THINK YOU'RE IN NEED OF INTENSE THERAPY. YOUR SELF LOATHING IS WHAT HAS KEPT US APART FOR SIX MONTHS. SORT YOUR SHIT OUT, GREY! **

**YES MA'AM...SOOOO...DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT?**

**NO**

**WHY? **

**IM NOT READY TO PRETEND WE DONT HAVE A GRAND CANYON SIZED CRACK IN OUR RELATIONSHIP **

**BUT** **HOW DO WE FIX THIS IF WE DONT SPEND TIME TOGETHER?**

**IM SURE YOU WILL FIGURE IT OUT. GOOD NIGHT CHRISTIAN**

**CAN I MEET YOU FOR COFFEE IN THE MORNING? **

**NO! GOODNIGHT.**

**GOODNIGHT, BABY. SWEET DREAMS XXX**

* * *

><p>I barely slept last night. I read Christians journal until the early hours.<p>

I hate myself for wanting to drive to Escala and just throw myself in his arms.

I make myself a tea and start flicking through my phone while I have ten minutes before the children get up.

Just as I am draining my cup Taylor walks into the kitchen with a funny little smirk on his face.

"Ana, there is a delivery at the door for you"

"What is it?" I ask but he just shrugs and walks down the hallway. I swear I hear him laugh. I go to the front door and find a delivery boy with the biggest bunch of flowers I have ever seen!

"Mrs Grey?"

"Yes"

"Sign here please" he grunts and I let him pass me so he can put the flowers on the table. I sign his pad and then he hands me a little box and a card. As soon as he is gone I rip into the card and find a note from Christain.

* * *

><p><em>Anastasia<em>

_You told me I would figure it out. _

_Well I spent all of last night thinking about what that means._

_From the day we met until the day we married was less than two months. I never had the chance to woo you because I was hell bent on getting that ring on your finger._

_I would like to start again._

_We never really had a first date. Sure I took you to Escala But instead of looking back at that night as one where I slowly made love to you, I look back and think of the harsh words I said and the less than gentle way I took you. I won't even mention the red room tour._

_I would like to invite you on a date. Dinner, movie, maybe a walk along the lake? _

_I won't pressure you, I promise and I am available any night of your choosing._

_All my love_

_Christian xx_

_P.S There are 1000 roses. One for every moment I think of you each day and in the box is another first for us. One that thankfully, we will never have again_**.**

* * *

><p>1000 roses! No wonder the delivery man was grunting and groaning. And another first? I open the tiny box and inside is a white gold charm to go on my bracelet.<p>

What the hell? It's a tiny back scratcher. What the fuck? I don't get it.

I look at the box and on the underside of the lid I find a small message in Christians handwriting.

**On behalf of our first (and last) seven year itch.**

I can't help it. I burst out laughing.

I pull out my phone and text him. He's made the first move so I make the second.

**I GOT YOUR INSANE AMOUNT OF FLOWERS AND THE CHARM. IT MADE ME LAUGH. I AM AVAILABLE THIS FRIDAY IF THAT SUITS YOU? **

**YES! FRIDAY NIGHT IS PERFECT. I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 7:30 **

**OK, I'll SEE YOU THEN**

**LATERS, BABY X**


	7. First Date Take 2 Seven Years Later

**HI EVERYONE, HAPPY TUESDAY :)**

**I'M UPLOADING A FEW HOURS SOONER TODAY BECAUSE I HAVE A HAIR APPOINTMENT, I'M DYING MY HAIR FROM BRUNETTE TO RED (-SO SCARED LOL) **

**I HAD A LOT OF FUN WRITING THIS CHAPTER AND I LOVED WRITING A LITTLE ABOUT PHOEBE. SHE'S MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER :)**

**I HAVE A LITTLE QUESTION AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

**DON'T FORGET THE PINTEREST AND THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS**

**CHEERS**

**LORNA XOXO**

**ANAS POV**

God I am so nervous! I have been married to this man for seven years and we have done every dirty thing known to man so why am I blushing about going on A date with him? Is it even a date? We have so many things to talk about. What if we sit down to dinner and find out that we just aren't compatible any more? _No, that will never happen._ We are made for each other. Even if neither of us believe that at times. Take me for instance. I had those papers, the papers that proved my innocence for months and I didn't show him. Why didn't I show him? Because I was scared shitless that he would still want the divorce and that he was using _that_ night as the excuse he needed to get out of a marriage that he didn't want. It would have killed me if even after knowing the truth he still pushed for a divorce. That's why I kept them to myself. Because all the time I had them, I still had hope that I could get my man back.

I know he is mad about Jose. Hell I'm mad at Jose but I couldn't do that to Jose Sr. I wanted Jose to see his father one last time so that his old man could die in peace and have no regrets. My own mother, Carla passed away two years ago. A month before she died we had stopped speaking because I had offered to fly her out to see me and the kids and she brushed me off because Bob had a golf tournament. I told her she was a bad mother for never making an effort with me, her only child. In the five years I was married before she died she came to Seattle twice. Both times were when Christian was being given an award for his green technology's and the press and camera crews were out in force like it was a celebrity event. She came, walked the red carpet, had her picture taken looking like the perfect mother and then she flew back to Savannah that night. My last words to her were "I wish I had a mother like Grace".

She died four weeks later and I never got to tell her I was sorry and that even though she was at times a bad mother, she was still my mother and I loved her.

Jose and his father had a similar situation and my thoughts about my situation with my mother clouded my judgement. If I could go back in time I would have called the cops on his ass there and then. But then again, if I could turn the clock back I would never have even gone out that night.

I shake my head at the thoughts that have suddenly become stifling and finish off my make-up. Just as I am swiping gloss over my lips, Phoebe runs in like a little tornado. At five years old she has every single member of the household wrapped around her tiny finger.

"You look pretty, Mommy" she beams up at me and I reach down and pull her onto my lap as much as my bump will allow.

"Thank you, baby girl. Are you ready to have a sleep over with GeGe?" GeGe is what Teddy has always called Gail and it stuck.

"Yep, me is" she nods her head and plays with the single diamond solitaire necklace I have on. Just as I am snuggling her in, the baby gives a sharp kick that hits her. She looks up at me wide eyes with her little mouth hanging open.

"Mommy...what is that?" I giggle at the serious face she is making while she studies my belly like it is a bomb that could go off any minute.

"That's your baby brother and he was just saying, Hi"

"Why is hims in your belly?" She asks me suspiciously.

"Because he needs to grow some more and he needs to stay in there until he is big enough"

"But how does hims get out?" Oh dear lord.

"Well, when he gets big enough Mommy will go to the hospital and the doctors will give him to me" I explain in terms that her five year old mind will understand.

"Oh, ok. But how did hims get in you belly?" She starts patting my bump gently like she is looking for a way in. I am not explaining sex to a five year old.

"Ask your father when he gets here. Now do you want some of this?" I hold up my lip gloss and she smiles and nods her head. I gently swipe her pouty lips and then she admires herself in the mirror.

"Is me bootiful, Mommy?"

"You're by far the most beautiful little girl on the planet"

"Me is. Daddy say it all the time and daddy has the smarties so it's true" I laugh at how she talks about her father.

"Daddy says you is bootiful too Mommy"

"He does? When did he tell you that?"

"When we goes to Stala" she mispronounces Escala in such a cute way.

"What did he say?"

"He says you is bootiful and one day I will look just like you but mes have to tell all da boys that I don't like kissing. Do you like kissing, Mommy?" I bite my lip to stop from laughing so hard. Trust Christian to already have had the "No boys" talk with her.

"I like Playing kissy monster with you" I say and pretend to bite her neck making her squeal.

"I like kissing too Mommy"

"You mean how I just played kissy monster with you?"

"No, like how Joey kissed me in the playhouse at scool" she jumps off my lap without another word and runs out the room.

Well fuck me! Phoebe Grace Grey has had her first kiss.

I cant wait to see how her father takes the news.

* * *

><p>Ok. I'm ready. Well, as ready as I will ever be.<p>

I texted him today to see what I should wear and he shocked me when he said something casual, jeans would be best with a pair of sneakers.

Christian has never requested I wear sneakers. Every single time we have gone out it has always been to high end restaurants where I would be dripping in diamonds and trying to navigate my way around without tripping while wearing high heels. The only times we would go casual was when I was pregnant and would crave fast food and even then we always did drive thru.

Im wearing a pair of blue denim Levi jeans with a red shirt and a pair of Nike high tops which I bought two years ago on a whim and never wore.

I check my hair one more time just as Phoebe skids across the foyer floor with Domino chasing her. Domino is her miniature teacup terrier puppy that Christian bought her . The kids went off with him for the weekend at Escala and when they came back to me Phoebe had a puppy and Teddy had a mini ATV which has speed restrictions so Teddy can't hurt himself. A few days later work men turned up at the house and built Teddy his own custom ATV track and Phoebe a puppy park. I can't complain because Phoebe loves that dog and Teddy loves the bike so who am I to complain about spoiling them?

The door bell rings and I jump a little bit. I spin around and just stare at his shadowy figure standing behind the smoke glazed pane in the door. Phoebe looks at me as if to say "lady, get the door" but I am frozen to the spot.

"Phoebe baby, why don't you get the door"

"Why yous gotta be lazy mama?" She huffs but then walks towards the door and leans on her tippy toes so she can reach the handle. When the door opens she squeals when she sees her father.

"DADDY!"

"Hey, baby girl" he scoops down and picks her up and plants a few kisses all over her little curly head. He looks up and sees me and gives me his shy smile that I've missed so much.

"Hi" He greets me while Phoebe starts smelling the single red rose that he has in his hand.

"Hi" I say nervously. How the hell does one greet her partner of seven years when he picks her up for their first date?

"Daddy yous got me a flower?" Phoebe asks him and he looks up at me and I mouth "Let her have it"

"Well I got it for the most beautiful girl in the world so I guess that applies to you too, Miss Grey" His words make me melt. He can be such a charmer sometimes. _Yeah, like the time he threw $100 at you and called you a whore. So charming._

Fuck off! I will not live in the past. I owe it to my children and myself to make my marriage work. I love my husband. I won't get a divorce just because he made mistakes. We both did. Now it's time to get passed those mistakes.

I watch as Christian interacts with our daughter. He was so worried about having a little girl but the second she looked up at him, he was hooked. He dotes on her and gives in to 99% of her demands. I have told him a million and one times that he is making a rod for his own back but he keeps indulging her.

"Daddy? How did my whittle brover get in mommys belly?" She asks nonchalantly as she pokes Christians face with her little finger. Christain just stands there stock still with a look of shock on his face.

"Why..why do you ask that sweetheart?"

"Cus Mommy said ask Daddy" she shrugs at him and Christian looks up at me with a look that screams I'm going to spank you for this._ Not on the first date you're not, Mister._

He walks into the foyer and sits Phoebe down on one of the side cabinets and then kneels down in front of her.

"Well baby. When a Mommy and daddy love each other and want a baby the baby starts growing in the mommys tummy and then one day a big bird called the stork brings the baby to the hospital where the Mommy and daddy pick it up"

"Uh uh me knows this but how does the baby get in the mommys belly?" Christian sighs in exasperation and runs his hands through his hair which makes me giggle.

"She's not letting you get out of this one, Grey" I smirk and he looks at me and winks.

"Really? Watch me" he turns back to our daughter and gently cups her little face.

"I'll tell you what, pumpkin. If you wait until you are 13 or 14 to ask that question again, daddy will get you a mini ATV like Teddy has, how does that sound?"

"WEALLY? Ok daddy. Yous got youself a deal" she kisses his cheek and then jumps down and runs In to the family room yelling at Teddy that she is getting a Mini car like him.

_She was the buffer. Now you're alone with Mr Sex on legs while he's wearing tight jeans and a tight black tee. Yeah you don't stand a chance._

"You look lovely, Ana"

"Thank you, although I'm not sure why you asked me to wear jeans? I thought we would be going to the Mile High or Canlis? That's where we normally go"

"Ah but see, this is our new beginning. I want to show you what I should have shown you back then. I think I tried to impress you with the money a bit too much. The helicopter rides, the boats, the jets. Tonight is just about us. Ana and Christian" he smiles and I feel excited.

"That sounds nice. Are you ready to go?"

"Sure, let me just say hi to Teddy first"

We say our goodbyes to the children and say goodnight to Gail and Taylor before heading out. When I see what is parked on the driveway my eyes widen in shock.

"Is that yours?" I ask stupidly as I point to the shiny red Mercedes parked in front of the door. It's a beautiful car but so un Christian like.

"Yes it is. I picked her up today. Do you like it?"

"I do it's just so...so..."

"So?"

"So not you. I'm used to seeing you in R8s or Aston Martins. Why a Mercedes?" He shifts uncomfortably and looks down.

"Because it's a normal man's car, not an eccentric billionaire megolmatic control freaks car" he shrugs. I reach up and touch his face softly.

"I happen to like that eccentric billionaire megalomatic control freak no matter what he drives" his face lights up at my words and he then opens the passenger door for me.

This may be a "Normal man's car" but as I sink into the luxurious leather seats I know it's an expensive car that not a lot of "normal" men could afford. Christain gets in the drivers seat and smoothly pulls out of the drive way.

"So...where are we going?" I ask him as he pulls onto the road that takes us into Down town Seattle.

"Well I was thinking we could go to The Steak House by Escala and at 9:30 I have tickets for the movies"

"The movies? I thought you were just saying that? We have never gone to the movies together"

"I know and that makes me sad. It's such a normal thing for a couple to do and I never gave that to you"

I sit quietly and think about his words. He's right. We never did the "normal" thing. Our dates involved $300 dinners and transportation by either helicopter or personal driver.

"Well I think it's going to be a fun night...but, we still need to talk" as soon as I say it he pulls the car over to the side of the road and kills the engine.

"Why did you stop?"

"I knew you would say that we needed to talk so I came up with a plan. Because I don't want us to dwell on the past I propose that we ask each other one question. The other has to answer it truthfully and then the subject is closed and we move on. Sound fair?"

"I guess so" I shrug and turn so I am looking at him "You go first" he takes a big breath and then takes my hand.

"Why didn't you give me those papers or try to tell me about that asshole drugging you?" I knew he was going to ask this.

"Because I was terrified that you would still want a divorce. I thought that you were just using that night as an excuse to get out of our marriage. I've always thought that you were to good to be true and would one day leave me. It had more to do with my Insecurity's than your problems"

"Ana...I'm stunned...that's what you have always thought? I knew you were insecure but not to that level. Would you consider seeing Flynn? I think you need help to get over these feelings"

"I'm already seeing someone, Christian. She's called Dr Bailey and I've been seeing her for about 8 weeks. She's helping me to over come some stuff that stems from husband number three and I really like her" he nods his head and looks relived.

"Now it's my turn" he looks at me and nods "Have you been with anyone since we have been apart? I mean sexually. Have you been out with a woman or kissed someone or been in an intimate setting with anyone else?" I need to know just how long the road back to our happiness is going to be. We are still married and even though we are, _were_, separated I don't know how I would get over him actually having sex with someone else.

The guilty look on his face makes my stomach flip. _Oh shit._

"I haven't had sex with anyone or kissed anyone but I guess you could say I've been in an intimate setting with a woman" he says and doesn't look in my eyes.

"Carry on. What did you do? Who was she?" My hands start to sweat and my heart starts to race.

"I was in London a few months ago and I was at the bar of a hotel. She approached me and introduced herself as Kelly. We talked and I bought her a glass of wine and we...we flirted. After about an hour the talk turned dirty and she invited me up to her room...it made me sick when I thought about being with another woman and when she leaned in to kiss me I pushed her away and said thanks but No thanks and walked away. That's it, I swear to you"

I believe him. I can tell in his eyes that he has told me the truth.

"Ok...do I feel jealous? Hell yes but you didn't do anything and I guess I have to commend you. A man of your sexual appetite gets it offered up on a plate and you turn it down after the longest dry spell you have had in seven years" he starts blushing and let's go of my hand. I have a feeling he is keeping something from me.

"I know you, Christian. What aren't you telling me?" He clears his throat and looks me in the eye.

"While I was at the bar and that woman was flirting with me...she was saying all these dirty things...things that would normally get me hard as rock but I...I couldn't...it wouldn't..." He sighs and let's out a breath " I couldn't even get semi hard, not that I wanted to, but it freaked me out. For six months I've had trouble getting it up unless I thought of you, which is a good thing but I'm worried that when we...if we...have sex that I'm not going to be able to...perform"

I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I burst out laughing.

"Anastasia!" He huffs in outrage at my outburst and it makes laugh harder.

Christian Grey, who used to fuck me at least four times a day on average is worried he will have performance problems?

"I don't see what is funny, Anastasia. I'm a man and I'm your husband and I just told you that I might not be able to...to"

"Make your little soldier stand to attention?" I start giggling again and this time I see his lips lift a fraction.

"There is nothing little about my Soldier" he smirks and it makes me shut up and blush.

"I think I vaguely remember...Christian, we will cross that bridge when we come to it" I pat his thigh and he seems satisfied with my answer so he starts the car and head on our into the traffic.

* * *

><p>The Steak House is probaly the quirkyest place I have ever seen Christain in. Its a cowboy themed place and all the waitresses are wearing denim jeans and checkered shirts. I instantly love the place and I can't wait to bring the kids here.<p>

We both order steak and beer or in my case non alcoholic beer and we fall into easy conversation. Mostly about the kids and work but I am enjoying the easiness we have fallen into.

"Have you thought of any names for the baby?" He asks me out the blue while swirling a fry in his peppercorn sauce.

"I have actually but I was going to wait until after he is born to choose one"

"Why until after? We had Teddy and Phoebes names picked out months before they were born"

I dab my mouth with my napkin and then look him in the eye. Honesty is the best policy after all.

"You didn't believe that the baby was yours. After reading your journal I now know different but I wanted you to have an input into his name, even if we weren't together. I was going to do a DNA test and then send you the papers and I was hoping we could pick his name together" he looks crushed at my words. He swallows back his beer and the gestures for another one. When the waitress hands it to him he necks it back and then looks at me.

"I know I keep saying it but I'm sorry. I feel so bad about...abandoning you when I found out about the baby. I did the same when I found out about Teddy and I've lived with that guilt for over seven years. I love this little guy just as much as I love the other two and I will be the best daddy in the world to him" I reach over and give his hand a little squeeze.

"I know you will. You're a terrific father" I smile and then I can't help but land the zinger I have been holding onto all night in his lap. Just as he takes a sip of his beer I strike.

"Speaking of your children. A little boy kissed Phoebe in the playhouse at school"

The spray of beer that comes from his mouth goes all over me and the table. He starts choking and coughing and slapping his chest so he can catch his breath. The laughter that breaks from me is unreal. I knew he would take this news well. His face is a mixture of horror and fury. He eyes are wide and he keeps coughing because the beer went down the wrong way.

"Are you kidding me? What's the little fuckers name? I'll fucking kill him! Who the fuck does he think he is to kiss my daughter? Fucking little ballsy prepubescent prick!"

He chugs back the rest of his beer and starts breathing like a bear.

"I knew you would take this well" I smirk and then take a sip of my non alcoholic beer._ I hate this stuff! As soon as this baby is born I'm getting myself a keg of Bud._

"He is a five year old little boy_. _I spoke to Phoebe about it today and it was a peck on the lips while they were playing Mommy and Daddy's. It was a child's game, nothing more"

"I still want to kill the little fucker"

"What are you going to do when she turns 15 or 16 and the boys start circulating?" He goes white and grips his bottle so hard his knuckles White.

"Im not even ready to think about that, Anastasia. Are you finished? The movie starts in a little while" I nod and grab my bag and we leave. He puts his hand on the small of my back and steers me out the door. When we get to the car he hands me his keys and asks me to drive because he has had three beers. I slide into the driver side. Christian gets in and tells me he has texted his security to drive him home later tonight. He tells me which movie theatre we are at and within ten minutes we are standing in the que.

"What movie are we watching?"

"Something called "Welcome to paradise" Mia recommended it so I can only assume its a chick flick"

"Never thought I would see the day. Christian Grey at a chick flick" I giggle and he absentmindedly pulls me forward and plants his lips on my forehead. He releases me a soon as he realises what he has done and actually blushes.

"Would you like some milk duds, Ana?" He asks but before I can answer someone calls my name.

"Ana? Is that you?" I spin around and find myself face to face with Dr Mark Murphy.

"Hi, Mark"

I can feel the chill that starts coming from Christain but I walk forward and shake Marks hand. He plants a small kiss on my cheek and I hear Christian growl.

"Wow you look great! When is this little rugrat due?"

"Im just over the six month point so I have a little while to go yet. How's Ben?"

"He's great. Still a little mischief maker, I guess he takes after me" he winks and at this point I can almost feel the Death stare Christain is giving him.

"Oh I'm sorry, how rude of me. Mark this is my husband, Christian. Christain this is Dr Mark Murphy. We are on the board of coping toghter with each other"

"Nice to meet you Christain. I've heard a lot about you. Mostly from Grace" Mark chuckles and Christain practically has to unhinge his jaw to speak.

"Dr Murphy"

"Well I better get back before they send out a search party. I'll see you next month at the meeting, Ana?"

"Sure, bye Mark" I give him a little wave and he walks back into the crowd.

I turn back to Christain and he is blood red in the face. I brace myself for the barrage of questions and accusations that I am sure he will throw at me but he shocks me.

"Was that a yes or a no on the milk duds?"

"Oh...um...yes...yes please" I stutter and he turns to the sales assistant and orders some milk duds, red vines, popcorn, two cokes and a bottle of water each. He doesn't mention Mark at all and it's like I'm waiting for a bomb to go off.

We walk in to the theatre and find our seats. I'm not surprised when we sit down in the middle of a row of four vip seats and I know for a fact that no one will be sitting in the other seats. Christain hands me some candy and puts the popcorn on his lap and offers me some.

Why won't he ask about Mark? Why is he not angry? Not that he should be angry. I have known Mark for about two years and I know he is a happily married man with three kids. I can't take the silence any longer and seeing as the movie hasn't started yet I turn to face Christain

"I've known Mark for about two years. He took Marica Stinsons place on the board when she moved to California. He has never made any moves on me and he is nothing but a professional. I just...I guess I just wanted you to know that"

He looks me in the eyes and I see the look of regret on his face. He gently runs his finger tip over my brow and smiles at me.

"You don't have to explain who your friends are, Anastasia. If I've learned anything from this whole mess its to trust you. I know you would never betray me like that, and I hope you know that is true in reverse"

Someones matured! A year ago he would have gone bat shit crazy.

"I do know that..I like this level headed shade of you" I smile and he chuckles.

"Just because I kept my jealously issue in check doesn't mean I didn't want to rip that fuckers face off and dip his ugly head in the slushy machine" I start giggling at his words.

The old fifty is buried in there somewhere.

We spend the next half an hour not touching each other and keeping our eyes on the screen. I see Christain looking at me out of the corner of his eyes and then in the most cheesey way possible he pretends to yawn and then drapes his arms around my shoulder.

I look up at him and smile and he just shrugs and gives me his boyish grin. Why haven't we done this before? I snuggle into his side and finish off the rest of the popcorn. I'm not really paying attention to the movie so I study Christains profile. He's such a beautiful man. A beautiful broken man. I love him so much it hurts sometimes. I think after we both seek more therapy to get over our individual insecurities we will be ok.

Ive never been a forward girl but right now I want to put my hand down his pants and make him moan like a whore. _Must be the baby hormones._

_"_Christian?" I whisper

"Yeah?" He whispers back.

"Wanna make out?" His head snaps to me so fast I'm surprised he doesn't hurt his neck.

"You want to make out? Like teenagers?" He smiles and I shrug.

"Im told that is the norm when one goes on date with a hot older gentleman"

He puts the popcorn bucket on the floor and then we slouch down a bit in our seats so that the people behind can't see us. He leans forward and softly kisses me before seeking entrance with his tongue. I wrap my hand in his hair and just about stop myself from moaning. His hands go straight to second base and I dont stop him. _Fuck this feels good!_

Kates words about not having sex come back to me and I ease back a little. He plants a few kisses on my lips and then snuggles me back into his arm. I can't help but smirk when he adjusts himself in his pants. _His little big soldier is back in action!_

* * *

><p>After the movie finished we went for a walk through the late night market. It was nice to just talk about every day things with him. I drive us back to the house and Christain introduces me to his new CPO who is here to drive him home.<p>

We walk walk to the door and I look up at his face. I'm dying to ask him in but I know we need to take this slow. Walk before we run and all that jazz.

"I had a wonderful time, Christian"

"Me too. I'm just sorry we had to get to rock bottom before we..." I silence his lips with my finger.

"Dont. We have had a wonderful evening. Don't dweel on the past"

"Ok. I have to go to New York tonight because Ros called me while I went to the bathroom at the theatre. A deal we have been working in for the last year is going south so I need to be there. I'll probably be there until Monday so can I come I over that night and maybe take you and the kids to dinner?"

"I would love that"

He leans down and kisses me sweetly in the lips.

"Good night, Baby. I'll email you tomorrow. I love you"

"I love you too Christain. Have a safe flight and do I look forward to a bit of email banter with you. I've missed it"

"Me too. Laters baby" he smirks and kisses me one last to before strolling back to his car and getting in the back. I watch the car disappear through the gates and I can't help but feel like a teenager inside.

We still have many steps in our journey back to each other but I think tonight was a great first step.

Im a little bummed out that I won't see him until Monday but I'm sure we can think of a way to keep things going by email.

After a quick shower I am in bed when I hear my phone beep with a text.

**I wish we had done this years ago. I had fun tonight. Perhaps we should try bowling for our second date?.**

**That sounds like a plan :)...I think we can do this Christian...**

**Do what? Bowling?**

**No, finding our way back to each other. I feel like today was a great step in the right direction.**

**It was, baby. I don't think it was possible but I love you even more after tonight. **

**I feel the same way...I wish you were in my arms tonight..**

**Ditto baby. We will get there, I promise. I love you x x**

**I love you too xx**

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHORS NOTE<strong>

**IM NOW TAKING SUGGGESTIONS FOR THE BABYS NAME. IM A LITTLE STUCK BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY GOOD NAME HAS BEEN USED IN OTHER STORIES.**

**CALUB. HENRY. CHRIS. ALEX. OLIVER. JACOB. SAMUAL. MATTHEW. ELLIOTT. HAVE ALL BEEN USED SO THEY ARE OFF THE TABLE**

**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU ALL THINK EOULD BE A NICE FIT. IT HAS TO BE FIRST NAME AND MIDDLE NAME.**

**CHEERS **

**LORNA XOXO**


	8. Welcome Home

**Hi everyone**

**So many names to pick from for the baby. Some popular ones were Ben, Matthew, Brandon, Riley. Jonathan, Michael, Daniel, Luke and Alexander. Someone must have read it wrong and suggested Ella lol. I had so many PM's I lost track so if I didn't respond to you I'm so sorry.**

**Everyone seems to want Carrick as a middle name so that's that one sorted and one of the reviews suggested a name which I love and will 100% be going with but you wont find out until next chapter.**

**Just one thing to clear up. Someone, and by someone I mean a "Guest" reviewer said that my story was good but my spelling made it unbearable to read and told me to get a beta or a friend to spell check it for me. This confused me because I always do a spell check and re-read each chapter before posting so I was thinking "What are they on about?"...Then it clicked. **

**In the last chapter Ana was talking to Phoebe and I wrote some of Phoebes words how a five year old would say them. These were not spelling mistakes, I did that on purpose lol. ****You all seem to love Phoebe so there is some more of her in this chapter.**

**I don't know if any of you noticed but I changed the summery for the story. Part one is when they are apart and part 2 is how they get back together **

**Many thanks for the review**

**Don't forget the pinterest**

**Cheers**

**Lorna xoxo**

* * *

><p><strong>ANAS POV<strong>

**To:** Christian Grey

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject:** Safe Flight?

Good morning Mr Grey

I trust you had a good flight and a nice nights sleep?

**Anastasia Grey, CEO, Grey Publishing Inc**

* * *

><p><strong>To:<strong> Anastasia Grey

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject**: Not without you I didn't

Good morning Mrs G

The flight was long and boring And my sleep short and restless.

How are you and blip 3 this morning?

**Christian Grey, CEO, Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc**

* * *

><p><strong>To:<strong> Christian Grey

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject:** Kidney Kicks

Your son has been using my kidneys as his own personal kick toys this morning but I am still riding off the high of our date.

You need to have a good night sleep, Christian. I noticed last night that you have dark circles around your eyes.

**Anastasia Grey, CEO, Grey Publishing Inc**

* * *

><p><strong>To:<strong> Anastasia Grey

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject**: Sleepless In Seattle & New York

Baby, I have never slept well without you. I can't wait until the night when I once again sleep with you in my arms.

**Christian Grey, CEO, Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc**

* * *

><p><strong>To:<strong> Christian Grey

**From**: Anastasia Grey

**Subject**: I may have the solution...

To your problem but it's not something I want to discuss via email.

Call me when you have five minutes

I love you

Ana x

**Anastasia Grey, CEO, Grey Publishing Inc**

* * *

><p>The message is barely out of my sent box when my phone rings. <em>Doesn't he have an empire to run?<em>

"Good morning, Christian'

"Damn...you sound so sexy first thing in the morning" he groans over the phone and it makes me giggle.

"Noooo, you're making it worse!" I hear him shut a door and let out a breath.

"What am I making worse?"

"The stupid hard on I've been walking around with since I dropped you home last night"

The thought makes me laugh again and it's not long before he joins in.

"I take it your little big solider is back in action?"

"You better believe it, baby. Now what did you need to speak to me a about?"

"Christian, it can wait until later. I don't want to take you away from your work"

"Nothing is more important than you and our children to me. Fuck work. What's on your mind?"

I take a big breath and think about how to word what I have been thinking about all night.

"You said you don't sleep well without me, right?"

"I hardly sleep at all without you, Anastasia" he mumbles quietly and it makes me want to hug him close to me.

"I called my therapist before I emailed you and I discussed with her the possibility of you moving back in"

He is utterly silent on the phone and In my head I can picture him running his hands through his hair.

"And?" He asks softly.

"She asked me how I felt about you. I told her I loved you with my whole heart and she said go for it. Those were her exact words. She has suggested...um...us...not...having sex straight away and said that little steps were the best option and if you do move back in then for a few weeks it would be best if you sleep in the guest room. I know it's not ideal but I would like us all to be under one roof again"

He doesn't say anything. I don't even hear him breath. At one point I think he has hung up in me.

"Christian? Are you still there?"

"I'm here, baby. I just...you don't know what this means to me" his voice cracks with emotion and it brings tears to my eyes. I've always hated it when he cries. My strong alpha male with tears on his face is an image that could break me.

"I don't care about the guest room. I'll sleep in the basement for all it matters but knowing that I will be able to see you every morning and every night...Thank you Anastasia"

We both say we love each other and then we hang up. I can't help the tears that are still coming from my eyes. I know we are doing things backward with the dating thing but perhaps if we had done this from the beginning we would not have got ourselves in the mess that we did. For seven years we have had a relationship based on love and sex, which is OK but the second an obstacle came up we realised that we didn't have trust or even commitment.

To over come all of our problems I truly believe that we need to strip everything back and start from the beginning. We can't start all over again because we have two point six children. We have been apart for 6 months and even though I want to get on the first flight to New York and sex him so good he forgets his own name, I cant.

Baby steps. That's the way to go.

I slide out of bed and pad my way to the bathroom. The baby only had me up six times last night so I pee quickly. This one only lasts 11 million years!

I have a quick shower and throw on a pair of maternity jeans and then walk into Christians closet and grab one of his sweaters.

About two months after our breakup I moved all his stuff in here. I was so lonely without him that I wanted all his stuff close to me. I moved everything in here in the middle of the night and I slept on the closet floor for almost three days buried under his clothes. Sad and pathetic, I know but I wanted to breath in his scent and be near his stuff if I couldn't have the man himself.

Once I am dress I head to Teddy's room and get him up and ready for school. He's such a good boy and gives me no trouble before he runs off to the kitchen where I can smell Gail's pancakes.

I take a big breath and then prepare myself for little Miss Grey. She's a monster to get up and get ready. She loves her sleep and hates to be woken up. Brushing her hair is a nightmare and getting her to eat breakfast is a daily chore.

I step In to her pink abomination of a room, her aunt Mia's doing, and walk over to her princess pink canopy bed. Her sheet is all tangled around her legs and her hair is all over the pillow. She looks like a little Angel..._yeah yeah, now wake the beast up!_

I sit on the edge of her bed and softly stroke her hair.

"Phoebe...Phoebe baby, it's time to wake up" I say gently. She starts to stir and then buries her head under her pillow and reaches back with her little hand and try's to swat my hand away from her head.

"Dow away, Mama!" She mumbles from the pillow.

"It's time to get up, baby girl. You have school today"

"Me no wike scool!"

"Yes you do, you love school"

I try for another five minutes before I give up and just pick her up. She cries fake tears which soon stop when I tell her we are having pancakes for breakfast. I give her a quick shower and dress her in her little uniform before I try tackling her hair. Surprisingly she doesn't fuss too much this morning and I manage to get it into two adorable pigtails.

After feeding both children I drop them off to School and then head back to the house. I've been on extended maternity leave for a couple of weeks now because of my blood pressure and even after the baby is born I'm not sure if I will go back full time.

I love running Grey Publishing but going forward I want to focus on my family. Besides it's not like we need the money.

I walk up the stairs and go into what will be the baby's room. Its a beautiful room with a slanted ceiling and a view of the lake. I haven't ordered him any furniture yet and I am hoping that Christian will help me with that. It guts me that he has not been on any of my doctors appointments with me but I need to put that behind me.

The walls in this room were white but since I found out we were having a boy I have been painting the walls a pale blue. I know Christian would tell me to just pay someone to do it but I like doing it myself. I take the measurements of the window so I can order some drapes and then I walk across the hall to the spare room which will be Christians room.

_Do you really think you can sleep down the hall from him? Seriously? One day. I give you one day before you have your legs wrapped around his ears!_

I have some will power!...maybe...oh I don't care! If I want to have sex with him then I will. We are married and its been 6 freaking months!

He can sleep in here for a few nights and we will see how we go and then maybe he can come back to our room...I just have to get through that first night without crawling into his bed.

* * *

><p>After the most relaxing bath ever I am putting lotion on my legs when my phone ping's with a text. I wipe my hands and then smile when I see it's from Christian. He called this afternoon but the kids monopolized most of his time so I didn't really get a chance to talk to him.<p>

**Hey baby, What are you doing?**

**Hey back. I have just slipped out of the most relaxing bath ever! What about you?**

**Just got out the bath?...What are you wearing?**

**A smile and Chanel Number 5...**

**Fuck...send me a picture?**

I arrange myself on the bed and then take a selfie from the top of my chest up. I hit send and a minute later his reply comes.

**Beautiful...Now take one a bit lower...**

I take one that includes my full chest and then hit send with a giggle.

**Fuck! you look so good!**

I want to tease him a bit more so I get out of bed and take a full body shot of my reflection in the mirror and send it to him. A full five minutes go by and I don't hear from him. What happened? _Perhaps he thinks it was too slutty. _Just as I begin to panic I hear my phone ping. It's a text from Christian with a picture. I almost faint when I see what he has sent me.

He's naked apart from the black bow tie around his neck. He is on his back in the middle of a bed I recognize as the California king bed in the master bedroom at the apartment In New York.

His hair is tousled and his eyes are bright with lust and he is sporting a massive hard on which he has griped in his hand. _God what I would give to be with him right now_.

**You look good enough to eat, Mr Grey**

**I would give every single penny I have if I could have you in my arms right now!**

**In your arms? Or on your cock? **

A full two minutes goes by before he responds back.

**Fuck! I just came all over myself! **

**We aim to please, baby ;) x**

* * *

><p>Its been three days since I've seen Christian.<p>

We have texted every day and last night while we were talking on the phone it somehow ended up in a round of phone sex. I still don't know how it happened. One minute we were talking about this new restaurant that has opened down town and the next minute I had my hand in my panties while Christian grunted on the other end of the phone.

I don't know how we are going to keep our hands off each other. It's not like every thing your therapist tells you is the law! Right?

Christian should be here any time now. He landed an hour ago but is going to Escala first to pick up some off his stuff and some paperwork that he will need.

I have the guest room all ready for him but I don't hold much hope that he will be sleeping in there. I want him in my bed. In our bed.

I have sent Gail and Taylor home for the night because I wanted it to just be us and the kids. We need family time.

That reminds me. I need to speak to Taylor tomorrow about him going back as CPO for Christian. Taylor is a highly trained security officer and I know he is bored shitless being at home all the time. And I know he misses Christian because Gail told me.

I am pulled out of my thoughts of Christian and Taylor's bromance when I hear Teddy scream for me.

"Moooooommmmmmmmmmmm!" He screams from the TV room and I run there as best I can because I'm sure he is being murdered! When I walk into the room I get there just in time to see him pull his arm back to hit Phoebe.

"Theodore Raymond Grey, don't you dare hit your sister!"

"But she hit me first!" He turns his head and I can see the red mark where Phoebe has smacked him. She is sitting on the floor wearing the most adorable little dress that has bunnies on it but at this moment she truly is her fathers daughter because she has her arms crossed over her chest and she's glaring daggers at Teddy.

I sit down on the sofa and pull Teddy to me so I can check his face. It's a bit red but the skin isn't broken.

"What happened?"

"We were watching cartoons and then she took the remote off me and switched it over to that stupid film, Frozen! I grabbed the remote and switched it over and then she hit me! Look right here! See my eye? Is it bleeding?" I kiss his little eye lid and ruffle his hair.

"No sweetheart it's not bleeding. Why don't you run and grab yourself a cookie while I talk to your sister" he scoots off my lap and then heads off to the kitchen.

I turn around and look at my five year old who is wearing her fathers impassive, CEO, hard ass, I don't give a fuck face. _She will be the death of us when she hits her teenage years._

"Come here, Phoebe"

She huffs and then slouches her way over to me so I can pick her up to sit on my lap.

"What have I told you about hitting your brother?"

"That its wong" she sighs

"And what did I say would happen if you did it again?"

"That mes haf to sit on the nawty step but me no wanna do that, mama" she shakes her little head from side to side to drive her point on home.

"Well I'm afraid that's what is going to happen, Phoebe Grace. You can't go around hitting people. Now I want you to go to the naughty step and you have to stay there for five minutes, do you understand?"

She nods her head sadly and then gets up and walks out the room. When I follow her, I watch her walk to the stairs and plonk herself down on the bottom step. I stay out of her line of sight so I can make sure that she is following the rules.

She sits there as quite as a lamb for two minutes and in my head I am thinking that Christian and I have raised a brilliant little girl.

Then she shocks me so bad I almost wet my pants.

She huffs out a big breath, rolls her eyes to the heavens and then mutters "Fuck"

I am so shocked I can't move! Where the hell did she learn that word?

"Phoebe Grace Grey! Where did you learn that word?" She jumps a little when I suddenly come around the corner talking to her in the sternest Mommy voice I can muster with out shouting at her.

She keeps silent and just looks at me with big innocent eyes.

"Phoebe, I asked you a question young lady"

"Me heard you say it, mama?" She holds her arms out in a "Why are you quizzing me?" Way and then starts softly swinging her legs against the stairs.

When did she hear me saying that? I am always careful around the children.

"When did you hear me say that?"

"Wast night. I gotted out of bed cus me wanted to sweep with you but you door was wocked and me heard you say "Oh Fuck"

"Do not say that word again! That is a very bad word and Mommy is sorry that you heard it but I don't want you to say it again. Ever. Ok?"

"It's a bad wood?" She asks

"Yes it is. It's a grown up word and little girls should not say it OK? Now go into the family room with your brother"

"OK mama"

She skips off and I slump down on the step she just vacated.

I am mortified! My five year old heard me pleasure myself while I was on the phone to her father. God! This is the type of stuff that screws children up for life! I grin into my hands. I would have bet my butt that they would have picked up potty mouth from their father, never from me.

I look up from my hands just as I see a shadowy figure walk up to the front door. I move as fast as I can and yank it open and I find Christian with bags in his hands.

I launch myself at him causing him to drop the bags. I smash my lips against his and tangle my hands into his hair. I press up against him and on my urging he swoops down and grabs the back of my thighs and picks me up. I wrap my legs around him as best I can and then I feel my back up against the wall.

We devour each other and when our lips part he starts kissing me down my neck and I can't help but sink my teeth into his neck making groan. He pulls back and gives me some butterfly kisses and then he looks me right in the eye.

"Hi"

"Hi...welcome home"

The profoundness of this moment and my words are not lost on us and we take a few seconds to remember where we have been, how far we have come, and how far we still have to go.

"Thank you" he kisses me again and then slowly puts me down. He grabs his bags and then we walk into the house and find the children.

* * *

><p>After we had dinner and then got the children to bed we sat on the sofa and just talked and made out. The sexual tension between us is so thick you could cut it with a knife. I want to take his hand and lead him up to our bedroom but I've turned shy for some reason.<p>

Christian yawns and then stretches from his perch behind me.

"Tired?"

"Yeah. The flight was rough and I still had numbers flying past my eyes every time I tried to shut them. This deal in New York will create about 1000 jobs so I can't drop the ball on it. Unfortunately that meant long meetings and hardly any sleep" he yawns again and it's like my libido turns off. He needs his sleep. He works so hard and I'm constantly worrying that he will have a heart attack or a stroke.

"Perhaps you should go to bed" I say softly and he nods gently. He crawls himself over me and then drops a sweet kiss in my lips and then my forehead.

"Good night, baby" he says before turning and heading up the stairs.

"Goodnight" I say when he has already left the room.

What just happened? I thought for sure he would ask to sleep with me but he didn't even try!

I feel rejected.

Then I remember what he said to me the day he gave me his journal.

"_The balls in your court, Anastasia..."_

Does that mean he wants me to make the first move?

Because I have no problem with that.

I get up and head upstairs and when I get to the guest room I press my ear against the door and hear the shower. Fuck! I bet he's all naked and wet. I suddenly lose my courage and I bolt to my own room. I have a quick shower and change into some sleep shorts and a vest top. I crawl I to the bed and just stare at the ceiling.

_What am I doing? I want him, he wants me, so what's the problem?_

I fling back the covers and fling the door open only to walk straight into a wall of solid muscle. I bounce off his chest but before I fall he has me wrapped in his arms. He picks me up and carries me to the bed. He sets me down gently and then gets in before pulling me so my head is on his chest and my arm draped over his abs.

"I was coming to get you" I whisper.

"I've been outside the door for ten minutes. I didn't know what to do"

"I can think of a few things..." I say before I start to lower my hand but he shocks me when he gently stops my movements.

"No...not tonight"

"What! Why?" He turns over so we are face to face and kisses me gently.

"Because one of my biggest regrets in life, and trust me there are a few, but one of the main ones, the one that has always eaten away at me was the night I took your virginity. I was harsh and rougher than I should have been. I can use the excuse that I had never had vanilla sex before but even a fumbling teenager can be gentle the first time. I should have taken it slow...I should have let you run your hands anywhere you wanted and if I could go back in time I would have wrapped my arms around you and told you over and over again how much I loved you...I want our first time back together to be perfect, filled with romance which is something you should have had that night all those years ago"

"Christian, our first time was special to me and you did make me feel loved and cherished"

"Not like I should have. So will you give me this chance? Let me plan something special for us, please?"

"OK...but I think we did this wrong" I giggle and he frowns.

"What have we done wrong?"

"I thought the third date was supposed to be the sex date? We totally skipped the second date and have gone straight to planning a fuck fest"

"Well we never did do things in order. Sleep now baby"

"OK, goodnight. I love you"

"I love you too, Anastasia"

I watch as he falls into a peaceful sleep beside me. I wonder what he will plan for our next date? Perhaps I should plan a second date and let him sort the third one out?

I let sleep consume me while thinking of a way to surprise Fifty with a surprise date.


	9. Everything out in the Open

**HI EVERYONE.**

**I MESSED UP ON THE LAST CHAPTER WHEN I PUT THAT PHOEBE WAS 5. SHES ONLY JUST TURNED 4. THIS EXPLAINS WHY SHE TALKS IN A BIT OF A BABYISH WAY. MY BAD.**

**SO A FEW OF YOU GUESSED THAT THIS STORY IS COMING TO AN END IN THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS. I HAVE ENJOYED WRITING THIS STORY AND GOING OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE OF HAPPY/FLUFF STORIES BUT BOY, ITS HARD TO WRITE ANGST OR TO HAVE A&C BE MEAN TO EACH OTHER.**

**I DO HAVE A FEW IDEAS FOR A NEW STORY AND I AM GOING BACK TO WHAT I LOVE BEST WHICH IS A STORY WHERE PHOEBE PLAYS ONE OF THE MAIN ROLES. I AM GOING TO WRITE A FEW CHAPTERS IN ADVANCE SO IT WILL HAVE REGULAR UPDATES. **

**THE WINNER OF THE BABY NAME POLL GOES TO (insert drum roll please) **

**ROMANCEFIFTY. WHO NOT ONLY CAME UP WITH A NAME, BUT WITH A LITTLE STORY TO GO WITH IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE IDEA :) **

**I WONT BORE YOU ALL WITH A LONG AUTHORS NOTE SO READ THE CHAPTER AND THEN AT THE END IS THE REST OF THIS NOTE.**

**CHEERS**

**LORNA XOXO**

* * *

><p><strong>CHRISTIANS POV<strong>

I wake up with Ana fast asleep on my chest. I feel so contented in this moment that I could cry.

But I know this is the calm before the storm.

After I fell asleep last night Ana woke me up. She said she loved me and that she was going to plan our second date if I would take care of what she is calling "Fuck Fest". Then she said we needed to talk. The plan is to get the kids off to school and then sit down and talk about everything that has happened in the last few months. I'm dreading it. I was a prick to her. Pure and simple.

I lean down a bit and kiss her forehead just as our bedroom door opens. I don't see anything and then I see a curly brown head with big grey eyes peeking at me over the lump of the blanket.

My 4 year old daughter is adorable first thing in the morning. She has one leg rolled up of her pyjama bottoms and her hair is all over the place. I press my finger to my lips telling her she has to be quite and then I pull her so she is laying down next to me.

"Good morning, baby girl" I whisper

"Morning, Daddy" she whispers back and snuggles into my chest.

"Daddy?"

"Yes baby?"

"I wikes you staying in the house" She grins up at me and my heart melts.

"I like it too, Princess"

I feel like a king right now with my two girls in my arms. What a difference a week can make.

"Daddy, wook!" she points her little finger at my chest where there are a couple of small feathers from the pillows. Phoebe blows gently and the little feather rises and she catches it in her hand and then giggles. I blow the second one and it floats into the air and she tries to catch it.

Unfortunately she is as uncoordinated as her mother and as she reaches her hand out, she ends up smacking Ana in the face.

"Ow! Fuck!" she jerks awake and holds the side of her face where Phoebes palm landed.

Phoebe sucks in a gallon of air and then points her little finger at her mother.

"Mama! You said the bad wood!" I burst out laughing and despite holding her face, Ana laughs along with me.

"Im sorry baby girl"

"You haf to sit on the nawty step" Phoebes sighs and shakes her head.

"I'll make sure mama sits on the naughty step, why don't you head down stairs and see what GeGe has made for breakfast?"

"Okay daddy" she slips off the bed and then runs from the room.

I turn over to Ana and gently inspect her face. It's a little red but that's all.

"That's not the way I wanted to wake up" she grumbles

"I'm sure it wasn't" I chuckle and lean down and kiss her gently.

"Are you ready for our talk today?" She asks me hesitantly while biting her lip. I gently take it from between her teeth before swiping my thumb across the bottom one.

"Not really but it needs to be done. I just..."

"What?"

"I just don't want you to realise what a prick I was to you. You have welcomed me back with open arms and I just don't get it. You should be screaming at me. You should have burned all my stuff. You're being so calm about everything...I...I don't get it"

"Do you want me to scream at you? Do you want me to burn all your stuff?"

"Of course not"

"Then let's get up and get the kids ready and I will explain to you why I'm not burning your shit and stabbing a voodoo doll with copper hair later" she rolls out the bed but not before landing a resounding slap on my ass on her way to the bathroom.

* * *

><p>After taking Teddy to school and Phoebe to her Pre-School we make our way back to the house. We haven't spoken the whole ride home and you can cut the tension with a knife.<p>

When we get to the house we make our way into the library which will be the setting for our talk. It's not lost on me that Ana chose the one room in the house that is her turf.

We sit in chairs that are directly opposite each other and wait for the other to start.

"How do you want to do this?" She ask

"How about simple Q&A?"

"Ok, I'll go first...why did you turn up at the hotel that night?"

"I tracked Kates phone and saw that it was at her house... I panicked"

"You panicked? Why would you track her phone to start with?" I shift uncomfortably in my seat but I know that honesty is the only way to go.

"A little voice in my head started to tell me that you had lied about Kate being with you and that you were using her presence as an excuse to spend time alone with him"

"So in short, you didn't trust me?"

"Ana...I..."

"Did you trust me, yes or no, Christian?"

"No" I whisper and look down ashamed to say those words.

"Why?" She asks as the first tear falls down her face.

"Flynn seems to think it stems from issues with my birth mother. He says I have abandonment issues and if I feel out of control with a situation my brain starts thinking up scenarios and that's when I lose control. Flynn explains it better" I mumble

She wipes her eyes and then squares her shoulders. I've seen this look before. This is her "_Things need to change right now"_ face.

"I respect the fact that you have issues and I understand that a lot of your behaviour stems from the first four years of your life. I can't imagine what it's like to have those images in your head...What I don't respect and what I don't understand is why you are still seeing the same therapist that you have had for 12 years now and who you have never had a breakthrough with or even a small step forward?"

"Anastasia, John Flynn does help me" I start to argue but she stops me when she puts her hands up.

"Tell me one thing that Flynn has helped you with? _You_ were the person who over came your fear of touch. _You_ were the person who opened your heart to me. _You_ are the person who over came your nightmares without his help. You went to him for five years prior to our marriage and to use your own words and his, I helped you do in a little over four weeks what he didn't do in five years. I would like for you to seek another opinion. I don't think he is helping you but I think a new perspective would help you come on leaps and bounds...I'm your wife, Christian. It you can't trust me then this marriage is as good as dead"

I gasp when she says the last part and I feel the colour drain from my face. Our marriage will be over if I don't get my shit in order? I will do anything she wants. I'll have her any way I can have her and if that means getting rid of Flynn then that's what I will do.

"I will get a new therapist and I promise I will work on my issues"

She nods her head and then makes me laugh when she pulls a piece of paper from her pocket, takes a pen from the table and then crosses something off.

"You made a list of things to ask me about?"

"Yep" she pops the P and then looks down her list. She mumbles something to herself and then looks at me. This time she's angry.

"In light of Phoebe hearing me swear, twice, I promised I would keep my language in check. But Phoebes not here so what the FUCK! Did you mean when you said you couldn't get hard unless you thought of me? Who were you trying to get hard for? What the fuck were you thinking about if it wasn't me?"

"Ana...calm down, your blood pressure"

"Fuck My blood pressure and answer the question!"

I count back from ten because she has never spoken to me like this before and I'm fighting my old urges to spank the shit out of her!

"What I meant, Anastasia was that on the average day I get hard about a million times! If I walked by a florist and smelled the flowers it would remind me of all the times we fucked in the meadow and I would get aroused. When I walked into my office I would see my desk where I have bent you over and eaten your pussy more times than I can remember, I would get aroused. If I drive my car I would think of the times I fucked you over the hood and all the times you have sucked my dick while I was driving. Before we separated I would get hard by a sight or a smell or a noise. After we broke up, nothing. I would think of you spread eagle over my bed and I wouldn't even twitch. It wasn't until I started to think about making slow lazy love to you could I get it up. I know now that stress of the unknown was a major factor and since we have been back together I'm back to my old self so don't sit there and scream at me because you think I was picturing other women because I wasn't! The entire playboy mansion could walk in here buck naked and bent over and wouldn't even twitch! So now you know, happy?" I'm seething.

I hate hate hate the fact that I have had "_erectile problems". _Sex has always been My thing. A master between the sheets and between my wife's legs. Having a broken dick messed me up so much that I donated over one million dollars to medical programs that are helping solve the problem. _A little insurance for when I'm an old man._

I look up and Ana is smirking at me.

"What?" I snap and she just shrugs and crosses something off her list.

_When is it my turn to ask questions?_

She looks at her list yet again and then at me. This look is full of sadness, hurt and pain.

"That day...at Escala...The way you..._We..._fucked_,_ I get_. _We have had angry sex before and let's be honest, it's always hot. You have given me punishment fucks before and again, it was hot. It was always hot because I never feared you. I always knew that no matter how hard you fucked or how hard you spanked, you would never hurt me...I was scared when we were at Escala. For the first time in our marriage I was scared about what you were going to do and for a split second I thought you were going to hurt me...and then you did" Sadness flushes her features and all I want to do is wrap her in my arms but I know she needs to get this out.

"When you called me a whore you may as well have slapped my face. That's how bad it hurt...I'm your wife, Christian. I'm the mother of your children and I'm the person you said you would never ever hurt. You promised before God and our family to cherish me for as long as you lived. Then you called me a whore. I know you were angry and I know you were hurt but that is no excuse. I love you with my whole heart and I never want to leave you but I'm only going to say this once, Christian Grey and once only and I mean it more than I've ever meant anything before. If you ever, ever, call me a whore again I'm walking away from this marriage. As a woman, a wife and a mother that is the lowest thing you could ever call me. Don't do it again, understand?"

"I understand. Never again. I'm sorry I said it in the first place" I won't insult her by going into a "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" speech. She nods and then crosses something off her list. She glances at it and then she folds it up and puts it back in her pocket.

"My questions are done, the floor is yours"

"Well I don't have a list and I don't really have any questions. My behaviour over the last few months has been deplorable and I'm just thankful that you are given me another chance. I don't know why you are giving me other chance but I'm thankful for it none the less" I rake my hands through my hair in confusion. _Why is she giving me another chance?_

"I know what you're thinking. In your head you are thinking "Why have I been given another chance?" Am I right?"

"Yes, you are" I smile.

"You threw me out of my home, You called me a whore and you ignored me for 6 months. You didn't hit me and you didn't cheat on me. Those are the only two reasons why I would divorce you. Yes what you did was wrong, but I'm not about to throw away our marriage and have my kids be brought up in a broken home because of a few words. I love you, you love me. We are stronger together than we are apart and I never want to feel the way I have felt this last six months again. Why should we throw away the last seven years because of what was basically the mother of all misunderstanding? I know people will say _"She is being a pushover"_ or _"she should divorce his ass_" but you are MY husband. And if they would throw away a marriage because of a few words then I feel sorry for their husbands because they obviously don't love them"

"And you love me?" I give her what she calls my shy smile and she returns it with a beaming one.

"For all my sins, yes" she smiles and then comes over to sit on my lap. I wrap my arms around her and just breath in my wife's unique scent.

"I love you too, baby"

We just sit and enjoy being close to each other for a few minutes before she pulls back and looks in my eyes.

"I vote we put everything behind us and from here on in we don't bring it up or throw past mistakes in each other's face, deal?" I squirm uncomfortably and she frowns.

"What is it?"

"Jose still haven't paid for what he did to you. I have people looking for him because he has done a runner but when they find him I asked for him to be brought to me"

"What are you going to do to him?"

"Punch him in the face and then have his ass thrown in jail" I growl. She thinks about it for a second and then nods.

"Okay"

"Just okay? You don't want to talk me out of punching him?"

"Nope, if I wasn't pregnant I would do it myself"

"Well ok then"

I give her a kiss and she depends it by pulling me forward. I could take her right here but I want to have a bit of romance for our first time back together.

"Baby, unless you want me to fuck your right here you need to stop"

"I wouldn't mind but...I've planned our second date for tonight"

"You have?"

"Yep. Gail is watching the kids. We leave at seven and we should be home by midnight"

"What are we doing?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out" she bops my nose and then drags me to the kitchen where she proceeds to eat enough potato chips to feed a football team.

While we are snuggling on the sofa I bring up the subject of a name for the baby.

"Just tell me what you have picked Ana and I will give my input" she turns in my arms so we are face to face and I see a bit of apprehension in her eyes.

"The situation with Jose and his father made me think about how I left things with my mom before she died. The last thing I ever said to her was I wished Grace was my mother. I regret that every single day. I wish I could go back in time and tell her that even though she did have her faults, I loved her very much" I gently swipe my finger over the tear that is running down her face and the kiss her eyes.

"If we were having a girl, I would have wanted her to be named Carla after my mother but because we are having a boy I thought I could honour my mother another way"

"So what? We call him Carl?" She starts giggling like crazy only stopping when she snorts.

"No, not Carl. I was thinking about Franklin. I think that my biological dad was the love of her life and after he died she searched until her dying day for something to fill the void. I don't think she ever found it. I think calling our son after the man she loved and longed for would help the little rip in my heart that she left heal a little better"

If Franklin is what she wants, Franklin is what she will get.

"I love that idea, baby. And I think Franklin is a strong name. How about Franklin Carrick Grey? That way he will have both our dads names?"

"I love it! Franklin Carrick Grey. Little Frankie Grey! Oh my god it's perfect! Did you hear that baby boy? You have a name" she pats her bump gently and smiles.

When she looks up at me with love shining in her eyes I feel like something shifts. The crack that we had in our relationship has healed a lot this afternoon. It's a testament to our love that we are able to push forward through the darkness and search for the light that we know is there.

* * *

><p><strong>ANA'S POV<strong>

"The carnival? Our second date is the carnival?" Christian is looking around at all the people and screaming children with a look of worry.

Seeing Christian Grey, CEO, standing in the middle of the bright lights with a look of worry over his beautiful face as he looks around at the flashing lights and various different amusements, is possible the funniest thing I have ever seen. He doesn't know what to do. He told me a few years back that he had fond memories of going to a carnival with Elliott and his parents when they still lived in Detroit but he has never been to one as an adult. Until now.

"Yep, the carnival. I want to pig out on junk food, win a few teddies for the children and then make out with you on the big wheel" I grin and see his face relax.

"Well then lead the way, Mrs Grey" my eyes widen when he says that. It's the first time he has called me Mrs Grey since we go back together. I instinctively rub the underside of my ring finger with my thumb. I feel naked without my wedding and engagement rings but Christian hasn't even mentioned them since we got back together. I really want to ask for them back but I'm worried that he will tell me he doesn't have them anymore. In my mind I envision him flinging them from the balcony at Escala, even though I know he would never do that.

"Thats nice to hear again" I tell him softly and he leans down and gives me a sweet kiss.

"It's nice to say again" he smiles.

"Come on, Grey. I want pink cotton candy.

I drag him to the vendor and he treats me to one of the pink fluff clouds.

For an hour we walk around looking at all the amusements. Because I'm pregnant I am limited to what I can go on but Christian begrudgingly lets me have a go on the merry go round but only because he hopped on the horse behind me. For the entire ride I laughed because he would freak out every time I let go of the pole. Then he started to complain that it was too fast, the horse went too high, the music was too loud. In short, he hated it. I loved it. Christian freaking out only added to my enjoyment.

"Since when did you become an adrenalin junkie?" He asks as soon as our feet hit solid ground again. I burst out laughing in his face because he is so serious.

"It's a merry go round, Christian, not white water rafting" I giggle and then pull him over to the shooting gallery.

The game is called "Shoot The Bandit". It's simple really. The old west bandit pops up and you have to shoot him in the head or the heart where there're tin spinners. If you hit three targets you get a small bear.

"Those bears are so cute, Christian" I pout and give him a puppy dog look and he grins and hands the attendant the money for a go.

"You want the bear little lady, then it's the bear you'll get" he says in the worst western accent I have ever heard. As soon as he picks up the six shooter it's clear to see he has never held a gun before in his life. He's holding it side ways like gangsters on video games do.

I almost wet myself when his first shot doesn't even his the wall behind the targets. It hit the dirt. He looks at the gun like its the guns fault and then starts shaking it like he's trying to hear if it's broken.

"It's not the gun that is off, Christian, it's your appalling aim" I laugh and I see his competitiveness take over. He stands with his feet a foot apart and then concentrates really hard. He misses again but this time he hits the wall. He growls in frustration and then fires again, this time hitting the bandit in the head.

"Ha! See? I hit it" he says proudly.

"Yeah, in the wrong place"

"Well if you think you're any better you have a go, calamity Jane" he pays for my turn and I pick up the gun sending a telepathic "Thank you" to Ray who taught me how to shoot when I was 6.

I take aim and in quick succession knock down all three bandits. I blow the end of the revolver and look up at him. His mouth is gaping like a fish.

"What the hell was that!?"

"That was me handing you your ass on a platter, Grey" I smirk and take the small brown bear from the attendant with a thank you.

"Here, I won this for you" I say shyly and hand him the little bear.

"For me?" He seems oddly touched by my gift.

"Yes for you"

He touches the little bear gently like it is a priceless treasure. He seems choked up.

_Why? It's just a bear. _

_"_Thank you, Ana" I feel like he is thanking me for more than the bear but I don't ask what.

We make our way over to the Ferris wheel and we pay our fare and jump on. It's a little chilly tonight so Christian pulls me close to him and wraps his arm around me.

The wheel is so big that to get all the way around takes almost 30 minutes so we just enjoy small conversation and the view of Seattle. When we get almost to the top he pulls my chin around to face him and then plants a kiss on my lips. I hold my palm flat on his cheek and deepen it a little ending with me biting his lips which makes him growl.

"Ana, I have something for you"

"What is it?" He isn't carrying anything so it must be small. He shifts me so we are face to face and then he raises his hips and digs his hand deep into his pocket. When he pulls his hand out he holds his palm out and in his hand are my rings. I cover my mouth with my hand because I gasp and I can't help but tear up. _Damn baby hormones!_

"These belong to you. They always have and I know we have had our problems but I would like for you to put these back on. I was going to repeat the vows I said to you on our wedding day but I want to say new ones so" he shifts as much as he can and pulls me carefully so I am sat on his lap.

"Anastasia Rose Grey. I'm not a perfect man and despite what I think, you're not the perfect woman and I can't guarantee we will have a perfect marriage. What I can guarantee is that from this day forward I will love, honour, cherish and Trust you with my whole heart. I know I will mess up along the way and all I ask is that you bare with me. Make me sleep in the guest room, slap me upside the head, throw water over me but please please don't let me make the mistakes that got us in this mess in the first place. I can't live without you or the children. I'm only half a man without you Ana. You're the other half of me. I love you Ana Grey. Will you wear my ring again?"

"Yes, I will. I love you Christian and I will never take them off again and from this point forward I also promise to love you, honour you, cherish you and trust you above all others and I will take into consideration the fact that you have some, um, controlling tendencies and I will try to see things from your point of view before I make any decisions that you feel strongly about. I love you and our children more than life itself"

I splay my hand out and he slips in my rings and then kisses them.

"I love you, Mrs Grey"

"I love you too, Mr Grey...but I want you to do something for me tonight"

"What's that?"

"Make love to me"

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHORS NOTE<strong>

**I HAD A COUPLE OF REVIEWERS WHO WERE NEGATIVE, BUT NOT ABOUT THE STORY OR ME AS A PERSON (well not much) BUT ABOUT MY OTHER REVIEWERS. **

**I DON'T LIKE BULLYING IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM SO TO SAVE FUTURE PROBLEMS, I BLOCKED ABOUT THREE PEOPLE. HARSH? A BIT, BUT THIS IS FANFICTION. **

**ITS A PLACE WHERE WE ALL COME TO UNWIND AND ENJOY READING ABOUT OUR FAVOURITE CHARACTERS. ITS NOT A PLACE TO START ARGUING WITH PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD FROM YOU, OVER TWO FICTIONAL PEOPLE.**

** IF YOU WANT TO ARGUE AND FIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING WHY DON'T YOU SIGN UP TO A CHARITY AND HELP FIGHT THEIR CAUSE?**

**MY SUGGESTION FOR THE PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO STRIVE ON TRYING TO PICK FIGHTS IS THIS.**

**IF YOU READ THE FIRST CHAPTER OF A STORY AND YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ THE NEXT CHAPTER. MOVE ON. FIND ONE YOU LIKE AND _ENJOY _THIS SITE. DONT PURPOSELY SET OUT READING A STORY TO FIND THINGS WRONG WITH IT AND PICK A FIGHT. **

**AND TO MY FELLOW AUTHORS WHO HAVE HAD TROUBLE WITH HATERS/TROLLS I URGE YOU TO...**

**NUMBER ONE: BLOCK THE HATERS. IF YOU CUT OFF THEIR VOICE, YOU CUT OFF THE HATE.**

**NUMBER TWO: MODERATE YOUR REVIEWS. IF A GUEST GIVES YOU SHIT, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PRESS ONE BUTTON AND IT WONT BE POSTED ON YOUR WALL WHICH WILL THEN STOP OTHER JUMPING ON THEIR BANDWAGON.**

**NUMBER THREE: DO YOUR STORY THE WAY YOU WANT TO DO IT. IF A REVIEWER SAYS SOMETHING LIKE (if you continue with this plot I will stop reading) SAY BYE BYE WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND THEN MOVE ON.**

**WAY WAY WAY TO MANY GREAT WRITERS ARE GIVING UP ON THEIR STORIES BECAUSE OF HATERS OR TROLLS. AND THATS SAD BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME REAL GEMS ON THIS SITE. **

**E L JAMES STARTED ON THIS SITE AND LOOK WHERE SHE IS NOW. HER FANFICTION IS ABOUT TO HIT THE BIG SCREEN AS THE BIGGEST FILM OF THE YEAR. IMAGINE IF SHE HAD A REVIEW THAT SAID (unless you stop writing about BDSM I will not read your story) AND SHE JUST STOPPED? **

**IF YOU'RE NOT SURE HOW TO MODERATE YOUR REVIEWS JUST PM ME AND I WILL TALK YOU THROUGH IT. **

**Thanks for reading **

**cheers **

**Lorna xoxox **


	10. When The Last Page Turns

**HI EVERYONE.**

**SORRY ITS BEEN A FEW DAYS. I WENT ON A SPUR OF THE MOMENT TRIP TO LONDON AND LEFT MY IPAD AT HOME. **

**SOOOOOO, THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER. I HAVE LOVED LOVED WRITING THIS STORY, EVEN IF AT TIMES IT WAS HARD TO WRITE. I ALWAYS PROMISE A HEA SO HERE IT IS. A FEW LOOSE ENDS GET TIED UP IN THIS CHAPTER.**

**I HAD LOOKED AT A FEW OF MY FOLLOWERS THE OTHER DAY AND ACTUALLY STARTED GIGGLING LIKE A GIDDY SCHOOL GIRL WHEN I SAW THAT LILLIAN121 HAS AN AUTHOR ALERT ON ME! MIND =BLOWN! **

**THERE IS ANOTHER A/N AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER**

**CHEERS **

**L XOXOXOX**

**CHRISTIANS POV**

"Make love to me" She says it clearly while looking me right in the eye but my brain cant register the fact that she said it.

"What?" I ask dumbly with a face that looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I said, make love to me. Take me home, to our bed and make love to me" she leans forward and kisses me softly.

"But what about our third date?

"We can do it then too, but right now I need you more than I ever have before so get us off this fucking ride and take me home"

_Yes Ma'am!_

I look down and we are still at the top of the wheel. Its going to be another ten minutes before we are on the ground!

I pull her closer to me and start to devour her lips. It's been so long that we are both a panting, sweaty mess of tongues, teeth and hair. The ride moves a little bit and then it lurches to a stop. _What the fuck?_

I look over the side and see that there are a few attendants looking at something at the bottom of the wheel. The guy that took the money for our turn gets a mega phone and what he says makes me want to kill him!

_"Nothing to worry about, folks. Just a little technical difficulty, we will get it back up and running in no time"_

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" I scream making Ana giggle.

I haven't fucked my wife for 6 months and now I'm trapped on a fucking carnival ride? _This is my payback for being a prick!_

"Christian calm down babe. I'm sure it will be fixed in no time" She cuddles me to calm me down but then the vixen that has always been part of her sexual being takes over.

"I'm going to ride you so good...I cant wait until you're in me again...I've missed you so much..." She starts to nibble my ear and it almost makes me cum.

"Ahhhh Ana stop!...baby if you do that I'm going to cum all over myself" I try to push her gently away from me but she snakes her hand in between us and starts to rub my dick over my pants.

"Do what?" She licks me from the bottom of my ear to the hollow of my throat and now I've had enough.

I grasp her by the shoulders and gently push her to her side of the seat.

"Jesus Ana! What has gotten into you?"

"Well, nothing yet but later it will be your cock" she grins and I put my head back on the seat and groan.

"You're killing me, baby"

"Christain, we haven't had sex for 5 months 2 weeks 4 days and 17 hours and yes, I did just work that out in my head. I need you. Every time I saw you, even though you were an ass, I wanted you. There is only so much a battery operated boyfriend can do" she shrugs and then her eyes go wide when she realizes what she has said.

"Excuse you? Battery operated Boyfriend? My my my Anastasia, did someone get horny while I wasn't around?" I smirk and the blush I love covers her face.

"I went from having sex 2, 3 sometimes 4 times a day to 0. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. You know what I am like when I hit my second trimester. I almost went off my head with need"

My self loathing starts to rise but I quickly push it away. The thought that she needed me and I wasn't there for her hurts me so bad but I know dwelling on it won't help. I cup her beautiful face with my hand and look in her eyes.

"As soon as we get home I want you to throw your little boyfriend away because from here on in its going to be me that satisfies my woman. Not a toy" I smile and thankfully she laughs.

After almost twenty minutes the ride starts up again and so does our libidos. We practically run to the car and I have the engine started before I even shut my door properly. The house is only 23 miles away. I can make it! Just as I think this I feel a hand on my zipper and before I can stop her she has my cock out and the tip in her mouth.

"HOLY FUCK! Oh my god Ana! Shit!... Fuck!..." She pulls off my cock almost as quick as she went down and then she just sits back in her seat leaving me with my cock out and my mouth wide open.

"What the fuck? Why'd you stop?"

"It's not very safe to receive a blow job while you're driving, Mr Grey. I'm sure your safety conscious mind can understand that" she smirks and now I know her game. She's going to rev me up as much as she can before we get home.

"What my mind understands is that you were sucking my dick like a pro and then just stopped! Please finish it baby...please" I sound whiny even to my own ears.

She just starts laughing and I can't help but look over at her meaning that I take my eyes off the road for a second. The next thing I know there is a loud pop and the car starts to swerve across the road. I instinctively stretch my arms out across Ana to save her but thank God I was going slow because if the impromptu blow job. The car stutters to a stop about 100 feet from side of the road between some trees and I look over at Ana who has a death grip on the seat.

"FUCK! Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine...,what happened?"

"The fucking tire blew out because I drove over a hole in the road. Is Frankie ok?" I splay my hand out across her belly where I feel my son going crazy.

"He's ok, I think it may have scared him a little" she says while rubbing her bump.

"You wait here and I'll see what the damage is" I rezip my pants and get out the car and as soon as I see the damage to the wheel I know that we aren't going anywhere fast. Before I can look properly I hear the car door open and then my pregnant wife is next to me with her hands on her knees surveying the damage like she's a fucking mechanic.

"Well I think it's safe to say that it's fucked" is her official assessment.

"Ya think?" I say sarcastically and she swats my arm.

"Dont be an ass. Can you fix it?"

She must be out of her mind. When I hit the hole in the road not only did it rip the tyre to shreds but it looks like the axle is all bent up.

"The is beyond my expertise, Mrs Grey. Let's get back in the car and I'll call Taylor"

We get back in the car and as soon as I look at my phone I realise that we are even more fucked than we first thought. I have 0 signal!

"Shit! Do you have signal?" She pulls her phone from her bag and I can tell by her face that she doesn't.

"Nope. What are we going to do, Christian? We are in the middle of no where! What made you take this road in the first place? We're in the middle of the god damn forest"

"Well excuse the fuck out of me because I took a short cut to get home because my wife told me she was going to ride me raw" I huff and she rolls her eyes.

_I still hate that!_

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Anastasia"

"Or what?" She challenges

"Just because you're pregnant don't think I won't take you over my knee and spank your ass"

"Yeah yeah yeah, Grey, you're all talk" she folds her arms over her chest in a very petulant way and I can't help myself. I press the button that slides our seats back and then I pull her over so she is draped across my lap being careful of her baby bump.

_I knew I fucking loved this Mercedes! Can't do this in the R8._

"Christian! Put me back" she tries to sound like she's angry and it would be a lot more convincing if she wasn't giggling like crazy. I grasp her leggings and then push them down her thighs. _Thank god we are off the main road where no one can see us_.

"Damn I've missed this ass!" I gently caress her cheeks before landing a pathetically soft slap to her. She just laughs harder so I spank harder making her yelp.

"Ow! CHRISTIAN! That hurt!"

"That's the whole point, baby remember?" I chuckle and pull her leggings back up and then gently place her back in her seat.

"That was fun"

"Well i'm glad you liked it! god you are such a caveman sometimes!" she huffs and crosses her arms but shes smiling.

"Hey, look at me" I gently grasp her chin and tilt her head towards me. I plant a soft kiss on her lips and pull away but she grabs my hair and pulls me to her. Our kiss turns from soft and gentle into hard and hungry. We start ripping at each others clothes and before I know it shes jumped into the back seat and pulled me back with her. _This is not how I thought this would go!_

"God I've missed you so much" she whispers into my mouth before grinding her self against me. I am still wearing my jeans but my shirt is...somewhere...and Ana is now naked apart from a sock.

"Baby, are you sure you want to do this?" _Please don't make me stop!_

"I'm sure...i'm so sure...please Christian.."

She scrambles with shaky hands to undo my jeans and as soon as they are down she pushes me back in the seat and then straddles me. She slowly sinks down on me and we both groan. _Fuck that feels good! _She leans forward so our foreheads are touching as she moves slowly up and down. I don't know what happens but almost as the same time the emotion gets to much for us and tears slide down her face and from my eyes.

Six months we have been apart. Six months without this. Six months of living but not really being alive.

"I've missed you so much, Anastasia...I love you and I'm so sorry that I hurt you"

"I forgive you, Christian because I love you...I love you so much and I'm sorry for my part in all this" she breaths as I grip her hips and slowly lift her up and down.

"It's ok baby, we're here together now, that's all that matters" She smashes her mouth down onto mine and then rips the shit out of my hair.

We reconnect in the way that we have always been best at and almost instantaneously we come together.

We don't move. We don't talk. We just hold each other.

"I love you"

"I love you too, Christian"

* * *

><p>"Thank fuck I wore sneakers!" Ana huffs for the tenth time in the last hour.<p>

With no phone signal and not seeing another car for over an hour, we had no choice but to walk to the nearest town. Which is about 6 miles back the way we came. I could have run it in less than an hour on my own but there was no way I was leaving Ana in a car on her own in the middle of the woods with no way to call for help.

"We are almost there baby. My guess would be about another mile and a half"

"A mile and a half! Go on without me. Woman down" she says dramatically and then sits herself down on a fallen down tree.

"We can rest for a little while but it's almost midnight, Ana and it's getting cold"

"You can have your jacket back" she starts to take off my jacket which I gave her when we left the car. I walk to her and wrap it back over her slender shoulders.

"No baby, you keep it" I sit down next to her and she rests hers head on my arm.

"This is not how I thought tonight would pan out" she muses and then laughs

"Me either, especially what happened in the car" I smirk and even after 7 years, 2 and a half children and a thousands scenes in the playroom, she still blushes.

"I just...I couldn't wait anymore"

"Except for our wedding night, that was the best sex we ever had"

"I agree"

"It's been a while since we had car sex"

"It's been a while since we had any type of sex, Mr Grey"

"Well I think it's safe to say that we are back in business Mrs Grey"

"Thank god"

I pull my cell phone out of my pocket out of sheer habit and see that I have a bar of signal.

"Yes! I have signal!"

I call Taylor and tell him what happened and where we are and he is to us in less than thirty minutes.

I haven't really talked to Taylor since Ana and I got back together and its a bit awkward when we both just stand there digging the toes of our boots into the dirt. Ana sees this and then stands between us.

"Jason, from Monday I am assigning you back as CPO to Christian if that is ok with you of course?" He looks at her and smiles.

"That is ok by me, Ana"

"Good" she says and then I help her get in the car. When her door is shut I extend my hand to Jason and he grips it. He grips it hard. Like finger crushing hard.

"I look at that girl like I look at my Sophie. It hurt me to hear her tears every single night because you were to much of a stubborn fool to listen to me, and Gail and Luke and anyone else who could see as plain as day that she didn't do it. I'm telling you this once and once only...you hurt her again, in anyway, I'm going to rip your dick off and shove it down your throat, understood?" He squeezes my hand even harder and I yell like a bitch.

"I understand! I understand!" I say quickly and he lets go.

"Nice to have you back, sir" he says and then gets in the drivers seat leaving my shaking my hand in the air to get the circulation back.

* * *

><p><strong>2 MONTHS LATER. CHRISTIANS POV<strong>

"But I want to fly there and punch his mother fucking face in! Just keep him there, Welch!"

"**Sir, with all due respect, I have a window of a matter of hours to pull this off! If I wait for you then that window is gone and Rodriguez gets away. I need to do this now if you want him put away for a long time" **

Fuck! This is not how I wanted to get my revenge on this prick! I wanted to look in his eyes when he realised he was going to prison for a long time. But this is what it has come down too. He knew that I was looking for him so he's been on the run for months all over South America. Brazil, Argintina, Columbia, even Peru! Now the fuck head is trying to cross the border from Mexico into the States. Wrong move, boy!

"Do it, Welch, but make sure he knows that it's me on behalf of Anastasia that put him there"

"**Yes, Boss" **

I hang up and then start pacing my office. Before he steps foot on American soil a "Friend of a Friend" of Taylor's will pick him up and hand him over to the federales...with over a kilo of cocain on him. He won't see the outside of a Mexican prison until he is an old old man. Not if I have anything to do with it that is. I fucking love being rich! Money talks.

I win, Asshole!

* * *

><p>4 hours later and I get the text I've been waiting for.<p>

**GOT HIM!**

I actually do a fist pump when it comes through. For weeks I have had my team hunting him down. There is no way I could let him get away with what he did to my wife.

My wife.

A smile lights up my face at just the thought of her.

These last two months have been perfect. The best of our whole marriage. I have stopped staying in the office until 7 or 8pm every night and I make sure I am at home by 5pm. During the weekends I don't take work calls unless it is a situation of life or death. Friday nights are date night for myself and Ana and instead of going to a nice restaurant we have mixed it up by going to the cinema, the pool hall, bowling and even to watch horse racing.

Our time apart only made us stronger. Yes we have had arguments since we have been back together but we act like adults. We talk and communicate with each other. Not once since we got back together have we gone to bed angry with each other.

The night we got back from the carnival we made love into the small hours. The next morning when Gail walked into the kitchen and saw us kissing she smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen. My family were delighted to have us back together and I'm just glad that during those six months not once did any of my family drift apart from Ana or take sides. We both made mistakes but the past is just that, the past. It's the future I am interested in.

I walk out of my home office and track down my wife. She wanted to know as soon as the police had Jose. I know that she has been speaking a lot lately with her therapist about how betrayed she feels that someone she thought was her friend would set out to hurt her like that.

My new therapist is called Dr Shepherd and in my opinion I have come on leaps and bounds. Flynn was pissed that he was fired but he gave up my medical notes without a problem. Thanks to Dr Shepherd I have over come a lot of my demons. I found out that a lot of my jealousy and trust issues stem from my birth mother. No big surprise really. I remember her always choosing other people over me and then eventually she died and left me behind. This is why in my brain, everytime Ana was out of my sight I would think that she was walking away from me and would leave me. It's shocking how many problems I have that come from those first four years in my life.

Like my hair pulling. I always thought that was just a subconscious thing but a week after I started seeing Dr Shepherd he did this thing called Deep Mind Therapy on me and I pulled a memory out of my brain of when I was about three years old. In my memory the pimp was pulling my moms hair and when I tried to stop him she stopped me and said she deserved it. That's why Ive pulled my hair when I was stressed or in a rage. I thought I deserved the pain of pulling my hair because that's what I thought was normal. How fucked up is that? Needless to say I've stopped gripping my hair every five minutes which in turn means the headache that I would get as regular as clockwork each day have now all but gone.

My trust issue are no longer a problem either which is a relief. Whenever another man used to breath the same air as my wife I would see red. But Dr Shepherd gave me the truth plain and simple. Trust your wife, or you will lose her. That's not an option so I have worked on my anger issues and now when men look at my wife like they want her, I find it funny because she's mine, always will be. They can look, but I'm the only one who gets to touch or love her.

I walk into the kitchen and find Ana leaning over the breakfast bar reading a magazine. Even at 8 months pregnant she is still the most beautiful woman in the world. I sneak up behind her and wrap my arms around her making her jump out of her skin.

"Jesus Christian! You scared me to death!" She turns around and swats me on the chest in frustration.

"Sorry baby, couldn't help myself" I smack her ass lightly and then go to the fridge and get out a bottle of non alcoholic wine. I pour two glasses and then hand her one.

"This is a celebration"

"Okay...what are we celebrating?"

"At this very moment in time Jose fuckhead Rodriguez is being detained in a Mexican prison. He was found with a lot of illlegal drugs on his person. Thanks to a very generous and very anonymous donation to a certain Mexican prison, there will be no trial, no lawyers, no media attention. Just fuckhead spending the next twenty or so years behind bars" I am smiling from ear to ear but Ana looks worried.

"Christian, I know what he did was wrong but twenty years of his life..." I cup her face gently and kiss her nose.

"Baby...remember when Welch found out that Jose had left Rio in a hurry? Well we found out why" I take a big breath and look into her worried blue eyes.

"Ana, a young woman by the name of Maria Hernandez made a police report about a man who she met in a bar the day before Jose left Rio. She said that she had one drink and then the next thing she knew she was waking up in a hotel room. She had been sexually asulted. Welch did a little digging and the guy she met in the bar was seen on CCTV. It was Jose" she gasps and covers her mouth.

"He assaulted her?" She whispers in horror. I know she's thinking how did her college friend turn into a man who drugs women and then assults them. I always knew he had it in him to hurt women. That night he tried to Kiss Ana when she was still in college made me hate him with a passion. Ana may not remember every little detail about that incident but I do. He had her gripped with one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her shoulder. She was pushing with all her drunken might but he would not budge. I have no doubt in my mind that had I not turned up at that very moment, he would have taken that situation too far.

"Yes baby, he did. I saw a picture Of the girl Ana. Long brown hair, blue eye, really slim, sound familiar?"

"You think he did it because she reminded him of me?"

"There isn't a doubt in my mind"

"Let him rot in that prison, Christian. Twenty years is not enought! Phoebe will only be 24 when he gets out and I'm not running the risk of him wanting revenge and going after her"

"If that's what you want I will make sure he never sees the light of day again"

"Thank you" she leans up and kisses my chin.

"Is there anything we can do to help the girl?"

"I have sent one of the top abuse therapists in Mexico to her local drop in centre where they help women and girls over come abuse. I've also made sure that she gets a scholarship to any school she wants to go to and Welch put $200,000 in cash through her letterbox with a note explaining that we cant tell her who were are but the man that hurt her is now in prison and it told her to use the moeny for her future" she smiles and then wraps her arms around me as best she can.

"You're a sweet guy, Mr. G"

"I only did what anyone would do. She will never have her day in court with him but I'm hoping that what we did was enough for her to rebuild her life and have a bright future"

She picks up her glass and clinks mine.

"Good riddence to bad rubbish" she drinks her drink and then waddles away to her library.

I finish my drink and then vow that Jose fuckhead will never cross my mind again.

* * *

><p>"Christian...ahhhhhh...Chris...wake up!...WAKE UP!" I am pulled from a deep sleep when I hear Ana scream. It makes me jump so bad that I fall off the bed with the sheets wrapped around my feet.<p>

"Jesus! What's wrong?" I jump to my feet when I see her stood by the bathroom door holding her bump.

"My waters just broke! This is going really fast! Oh my god I think I need to push" she pants and holds the wall.

Shit! She still has another 4 weeks before her due date! He's too early. I grab my phone and then get behind her and hold her best I can.

"**Boss?"**

"Ana's water just broke we need to go to the hospital!"

"**I'll get the car ready" **

I throw the phone on the Bed and then help Ana sit down. She seems to be in a lot of pain and it makes me panic. I help her change from her nightdress to a maxi dress and then grab her overnight bag.

"Come on, baby. Let's go downstairs and wait for Jason"

"I can't!...I feel like I need to push! Fuck! Ahhhh"

"What? No Ana we need to get to the hospital!"

"I need to push...I can feel him!...ahhhhhhhhhhh!" She screams in pain and I help her lean back against the bed.

"You need to look...I can feel him!"

"You want me to look?" I ask horrified.

She had a C section with Teddy and when she had Phoebe she made me stay at her head at all times. I've never seen the business end of a birth before.

"Are you sure?" I ask and she nods frantically.

I gently lift her dress and what I see makes me freak the fuck out!

The baby's head is out!

"Oh my god! GAIL!" I scream because I know she would have come over to the house when Jason did.

Not a minute goes by and she runs through the bedroom door.

"Shes is labour! The baby's almost out! Gail help her, please!" I say frantically. I grab my phone and call an ambulance. Shit!

"Christian, I need you to get me some clean towels, dental floss and some type of clamp" Gail tells me and I rush into the bathroom and grab everything she needs. I place it on the bed and then I sit behind Ana so she is leaning against my chest.

"It's going to be ok, baby. The ambulance is on its way, just hold on, Ok?"

"I need to push! Oh holy fuck he's coming! AHHHHHHH" she screams in pain and I have never felt so out of control in my life.

"Gail! Please help her" I start crying because I am so scared right now. She needs to be in a hospital with doctors, not in the bed where the baby was probaly conceived in the first place! What if she gets complications like with Teddy? I can't lose her!

"Ana, this baby's coming and he's coming now. On the next contraction I want you to push ok?"

"Ok...Ahhhh ...ahhhh...fuck! Never again Christian!"

"What? Babies?"

"Sex! Don't you ever come near me again!" Thats three times I have heard this. First time was with Teddy, then Phoebe and now Franklin. Six weeks after Teddy and Pheobe were born _she_ jumped _me_. But at the moment in time I don't want to remind her of that.

"Whatever you say, baby"

"Don't be a fucking Aahhh, smart ass, Grey!...Owwww fuck!...it coming! I need I need...ahhhhhh"

"Push push push...that's it sweet girl you're doing great"

"You can do this baby, you can do this" I encourage her as best I can.

"Ana, Ana stop pushing! Stop!" Gail is sweating profusely and she has a worried look on her face.

"Gail what's happening?" Ana asks weakly. Shit, Ana looks really pale. Her hair is sticking to her forehead and she can barely hold it up.

"The cord...I can't...Fuck!" I have never heard Gail swear before.

"The cord is wrapped around his neck and I...I need to twist...THERE! Got it...push Ana" just as Gail says this the bedroom is washed in blue lights.

"The ambulance is here Ana, it's going to be ok"

"He's coming now...Push Ana"

She gives an almighty push and I watch in horror as Gail pulls the baby into her arms. The very silent baby. No, please no!

My wide scared eyes meet Gail's and then she does something that I thought was an old wives tale.

She holds the baby upside down and then smakes his little ass. Hard.

The most pitiful wail comes from him and then Gail starts laughing.

"Hes, ok. He's ok. Oh my, he's beautiful" she places him straight on Ana's chest where his little cries soon fall silent.

"Christain, he's beautiful" Ana whispers.

"He is. He's perfect" I look at my new son with pride and love just as two paramedics rush into the bedroom.

The next few hours are a blur. Ana was rushed straight into an exam room as soon as we got to the hospital because her blood pressure was dangerously low.

By 7am the three of us are in a private room after both mother and baby have been given the all clear.

"He looks like both of us" I say in awe as I strok his tiny little cheek.

Teddy is my mini me, Phoebe is her mothers but this one is a combination of the two of us. His facial features are all me but his colouring is all Ana. His skin is pale like here but he has my lips and brows. His eyes are the most intense colour I have ever seen. They're like a sky blue mixed with grey flecks. They really are unique.

"I can't believe how fast that happened"

"He just wanted to meet us really bad, didn't you champ? Hey I was thinking that it's only right that we ask Gail and Jason to be his godparents, what do you think?"

"I think that's an excellent idea"

A few hours later Gail brings the children in and after having a quick cuddle with Frankie she goes with Taylor to grab a coffee. We are left in the room with just our three children. I sit in the bed next to Ana who has the baby in her lap, Teddy is necpxt to her and I pull Phoebe onto my lap.

"Guys, I would like you both to meet your baby brother, Franklin Carrick Grey" Lifts the baby up slightly so the children can see him.

Teddy takes his little hand and starts telling him how he is going to teach him to play baseball and Xbox. Phoebe is looking at him like she doesn't know what to do in this situation. She looks up at me with her big eyes and smiles before snuggling in to my chest.

"You ok Princess? Don't you want to look at your new baby?"

"No, he be a boy. Boys smell" she says seriously which makes both Ana and I to laugh.

"Im a boy and I don't smell" I tickle her ribs and she giggles.

"You don't smell cus you the bestest daddy and bestest daddy's dont smell" she tells me.

"On that we can agree, baby girl" Ana tells her while smiling at me.

I lean over and kiss Ana softly on the lips.

"Thank you for all my babies, Mrs Grey"

"We aim to please, Mr Grey" she smiles and I kiss her again.

"I love you so much, Anastasia"

"Ditto" she smiles

We look down just as Frankie grabs one of Teddys fingers and one of Phoebes. I can tel, that in that second She fell in love with her little brother. She breaks out in a huge smile and then softly kisses the baby's head.

I look up and Ana has tears in her eye. I lean forward so I can whisper in her ear.

"And they lived happily ever after?" She holds my face and smiles.

"They sure did, Mr Grey. They sure did"

**THE END**

**I WANT TO THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO HAVE COMEALONG ON THIS JOURNEY WITH ME. **

**I HAVE ALWAYS SAID IT AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN. YOU GUYS ROCK.**

**IM GOING TO TAKE A FEW WEEKS OFF AND THEN COME BACK WITH A NEW STORY. I LOVE THIS SITE AND I LOVE WRITING ABOUT FSOG.**

**THANK YOU ALL AND SEE YOU SOON :)**

**CHEERS**

**LORNA XOXOX**

**P.S HAS EVERYONE SEEN THE MOVIE? IVE SEEN IT TWICE! I LOVED MOST OF IT BUT I THOUGHT JAMIE DORNAN WAS A BIT STIFF IN PLACES (pardon the pun) BUT THE SHOCKER WAS DAKOTA JOHNSON FOR ME. SHE MADE THE WHOLE FILM AND I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SAID ABOUT HER NOT BEING "ANA ENOUGH" SHE ROCKED! **


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